


Secure Communication Channel

by chaotik (orphan_account)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, chat format, eventual supercat, kara is a memelord
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-08-08 15:39:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 24,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7763503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/chaotik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex made a secure communication channel to better connect the DEO team and those at CatCo. Will it ever be used for the intended purpose of serious matters? Probably not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to the Chat

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 11:34 UTC--**

**ALEX DANVERS joined the chat**

**ALEX DANVERS added DIRECTOR HENSHAW, SUPERGIRL, WINN SCHOTT, JAMES OLSEN, MAJOR LANE**

ALEX DANVERS: no, this won’t do

**ALEX DANVERS changed name to AGENTDAMNVERS**

AGENTDAMNVERS: much better

DIRECTOR HENSHAW: agent danvers what is this?

AGENTDAMNVERS: calling people on the team isn’t always the best way to get in touch so here’s a secure communication channel for us

AGENTDAMNVERS: or is this too advanced for you?

DIRECTOR HENSHAW: advanced?

DIRECTOR HENSHAW: Danvers I am offended

**SUPERGIRL changed DIRECTOR HENSHAW’S name to GREEND00D**

AGENTDAMNVERS: KARA NOOOOOOOOO

GREEND00D: are you sure this is secure?

GREEND00D: I am a Martian Manhunter, not a ‘green dude’

SUPERGIRL: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

AGENTDAMNVERS: kara please

GREEND00D: this is to be a serious channel is it not?

MAJOR LANE: what in the fresh hell is happening

AGENTDAMNVERS: lucy! glad you could join us

MAJOR LANE: who is greend00d? Henshaw?

SUPERGIRL: ur welcome

SUPERGIRL: the deo is too serious

SUPERGIRL: who wants some cat memes?

MAJOR LANE: cat memes as in cat grant memes?

MAJOR LANE: in that case, yes

GREEND00D: no we do not want cat memes alex says this chat is for serious DEO matters

GREEND00D: also how do I change my name

SUPERGIRL:

 

**GREEND00D left the channel**

AGENTDAMNVERS: look what you did kara

MAJOR LANE: holy shit

SUPERGIRL: CAT JUST WALKED PAST ME AND SHE SAW MY SCREEN THIS IS IT

SUPERGIRL: MY FINAL MOMENTS

SUPERGIRL: IM DEAD

WINN SCHOTT: hi guys

WINN SCHOTT: also, rip kara

JAMES OLSEN: what the hell is going on

AGENTDAMNVERS: okay so I have to go and convince hank that this was a good idea

AGENTDAMNVERS: this is no place for memes! (even if they’re good ones)

**AGENTDAMNVERS left the channel**

**SUPERGIRL changed name to SUPERMEME**

SUPERMEME: one last thing before cat “fires” me

SUPERMEME: if I die winn u can have my super suit I think u’d look cute in it

WINN SCHOTT: kara pls


	2. Chinese Burns and Donut Crumbs

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 16:04 UTC--**

**AGENTDAMNVERS, SUPERMEME, MAJOR LANE joined the chat**

SUPERMEME: ow

SUPERMEME: wtf is up my aunt’s ass

AGENTDAMNVERS: what’s wrong kara? Are you hurt?

MAJOR LANE: haven’t u heard? alex is

AGENTDAMNVERS: LUCY NO OMG

MAJOR LANE: lucy yes

**AGENTDAMNVERS changed MAJOR LANE’s name to MAJOR_IDIOT**

MAJOR_IDIOT: wow rudeeeeee im telling hank

SUPERMEME: im okay guys dw

SUPERMEME: also…. what?

SUPERMEME: alex we need to talk

AGENTDAMNVERS: yes about your aunt, what happened?

SUPERMEME: she wanted to meet but then gave me a chinese burn

AGENTDAMNVERS: a chinese burn

AGENTDAMNVERS: goddamnit kara this is a serious chat

AGENTDAMNVERS: also… your location is placing you in a storage closet in catco?

MAJOR_IDIOT: kara still in the closet?

SUPERMEME: what? um….. maybe wait what??

MAJOR_IDIOT: what are u doing in the closet kara

MAJOR_IDIOT: are u and cat playing 7 minutes in heaven

MAJOR_IDIOT: can I join

SUPERMEME: lucy plssss

SUPERMEME: cat’s salty about the meme so im hiding

AGENTDAMNVERS: says you’re on your mobile did you leave your computer at your desk?

SUPERMEME: yes

AGENTDAMNVERS: where all your memes are stored?

SUPERMEME: fuck

**WINN SCHOTT joined the chat**

WINN SCHOTT: hey guys is kara here I saw her run down the hall an hour ago she’s not back

MAJOR_IDIOT: yeah hiding from cat

WINN SCHOTT: ohh well bad news - also is that u lucy?

MAJOR_IDIOT: …..yes….. go on

WINN SCHOTT: cat’s sitting at kara’s desk going thru her computer

WINN SCHOTT: wait here’s kara!!!! oh my goodddddd

AGENTDAMNVERS: what’s going on winn?

WINN SCHOTT: kara shut the laptop lid on cat’s hand

WINN SCHOTT: they’ve been staring at each other for a solid 30 seconds

WINN SCHOTT: cat stood up said “very well” and returned to her office

SUPERMEME: ok so

**SUPERMEME changed name to KARA**

KARA: im not feeling so meme-y rn so im gonna go back to work

WINN SCHOTT: ok cool me too l8r squad

**KARA, WINN SCHOTT left the chat**

AGENTDAMNVERS: what just happened

AGENTDAMNVERS: wait don’t tell me I don’t care

MAJOR_IDIOT: that was interesting

AGENTDAMNVERS: don’t you have stuff to do?

MAJOR_IDIOT: me? nah

AGENTDAMNVERS: where are you hiding?

MAJOR_IDIOT: well im in the main cave area thingy

MAJOR_IDIOT: and im also wearing that cap that you made that blocks hank’s abilities??

MAJOR_IDIOT: im placing crumbs on the dashboards and conference table when he’s not looking and then hiding

MAJOR_IDIOT: he’s so confused

MAJOR_IDIOT: like “where do these crumbs keep coming from?”

AGENTDAMNVERS: I’ll look at the security footage later

MAJOR_IDIOT: yeah? take a copy for kara maybe it’ll cheer her up

MAJOR_IDIOT: okay hold up im gonna lick this donut and leave it on the table

MAJOR_IDIOT: he ate it!!!!! holy shit!!!

MAJOR_IDIOT: he found me noooooooo i laughed too loud

**MAJOR_IDIOT left the chat**

AGENTDAMNVERS: bunch of children is what they are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm down with also taking prompts for this series, just message me on tumblr @ chaoticdanvers, even though this story is heading in a -really- rough direction it'd be fun to have some interesting stops on the way!


	3. Mars Bars and Barack Obama

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 03:27 UTC--**

**GREEND00D, MAJOR_IDIOT joined the chat**

MAJOR_IDIOT: goooooooood morning!!

GREEND00D: you’re all under arrest unless you help me change my name

**KARA joined the chat**

GREEND00D: help me kara

KARA: its 3am d00d

GREEND00D: you don’t need sleep kara

GREEND00D: I won’t be able to sleep until my name is changed

MAJOR_IDIOT: c’mon henshaw its cuteee

KARA: gross

**KARA changed GREEND00D’s name to MARSBAR**

KARA: there u go

KARA: can i sleep now

MARSBAR: this is... an improvement

MARSBAR: I’m going to sleep now

**MARSBAR left the chat**

MAJOR_IDIOT: hey kara

KARA: wat

MAJOR_IDIOT: ive decided to come back and work at catco

KARA: woooww! u think cat will just take u back?

MAJOR_IDIOT: i’ll make her take me back

MAJOR_IDIOT: using my butt

KARA: scuse me?

MAJOR_IDIOT: dont be jealous

MAJOR_IDIOT: but every time I walked out of cat’s office I felt eyes on my ass

KARA: cat stares at ur butt?

KARA: …what about my butt? my butt is good too… even better!!

MAJOR_IDIOT: yes, ur alien butt is perfection how could she not

MAJOR_IDIOT: ugh this name needs to change

**MAJOR_IDIOT changed name to LUCE**

**JAMES OLSEN joined the chat**

LUCE: much better

LUCE: jimmy boyyyyyy whats up my mannnnn

KARA: wow lane u sound so chill

JAMES OLSEN: how the hell do I turn off alerts for this?

JAMES OLSEN: I want to sleep without the beeps

LUCE: you don’t, you just let us torture you forever

KARA: that was rhythmic james

KARA: it should be under settings

JAMES OLSEN: thanks

LUCE: kara!!!! cmon wheres the fun

KARA: its 3am

KARA: fun is asleep

KARA: i want to be asleep

LUCE: james just chill out

LUCE: we’re revolting against alex and her ‘serious matters’ policy

JAMES OLSEN: I’d rather not

LUCE: don’t make me use the picture

JAMES OLSEN: lucy no

LUCE:

KARA: sad barack obama!!!!!!

KARA: OH WAIT THATS JAMES

KARA: OHMYGOD

LUCE: shit it gets me every time

JAMES OLSEN: I’m never showing my face here again

**JAMES OLSEN left the chat**

KARA: awwww u scared barack off

KARA: im saving that picture tho

KARA: i’ll send it to cat lol

LUCE: she might fire him for ever having that hair

LUCE: she’ll fire me for that terrible tear drop clipart

KARA: i laughed so hard now im reeeally tired

LUCE: glad to be of service soupgirl

KARA: soupgirl? i love soup

KARA: nighty night

LUCE: have sweet dreams of soup, girl

**KARA, LUCE left the chat**


	4. For the love of pizza

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 08:15 UTC--**

**AGENTDAMNVERS, KARA, WINN SCHOTT joined the chat**

**WINN SCHOTT changed name to WEEN**

AGENTDAMNVERS: what kind of name is that?

AGENTDAMNVERS: a lame one

KARA: winn’s a weenie

WEEN: that new girl pronounces my name weirdly

WEEN: so now im ween

WEEN: also im not a weenie

KARA: u work at weenie hut jr’s

WEEN: cmon kara its 8am

KARA: turn around and fite me

WEEN: i need coffee

AGENTDAMNVERS: kara when are you free next

KARA: lunch time

KARA: ONLY if u have pizza

WEEN: alex ur being replaced

AGENTDAMNVERS: what?

WEEN: by pizza, kara’s one tru love

WEEN:

KARA: a sacred relationship

AGENTDAMNVERS: did you really photoshop a slice of pizza onto my face

WEEN: for comedy???

WEEN: yes

AGENTDAMNVERS: do you see me laughing

WEEN: well… this is a chat… so I cant…

KARA: I can see her

KARA: she’s not laughing

KARA: but she fell off her chair

KARA: gracefully like a swan

AGENTDAMNVER: no, like a trained DEO operative

KARA: is that what we call swans these days???

WEEN: thanks kara for clearing that up

KARA: shit cat’s here

AGENTDAMNVERS: quick hide your memes

WEEN: hold on gotta pull up a productive looking screenshot for when cat walks by

AGENTDAMNVERS: one day I’ll share all your secrets with cat and you’ll beg for mercy

WEEN: is this payback for making a move on kara that one time?

AGENTDAMNVERS: maybe

KARA: cat’s latte’d and briefed

KARA: what I miss

WEEN: nothing

AGENTDAMNVERS: everything

AGENTDAMNVERS: ween is going down on game night

**WEEN left the chat**

KARA: poor ween

KARA: cat’s calling again

AGENTDAMNVERS: go tend to your lady love

AGENTDAMNVERS: feed her grapes

AGENTDAMNVERS: fan her with a palm

AGENTDAMNVERS: realise your feelings for her

KARA: by ‘her’ do you mean pizza??

KARA: they’re already realised

AGENTDAMNVERS: I got some skittles

KARA: whAT? from where!!???

AGENTDAMNVERS: vending machine

KARA: THERE’S A VENDING MACHINE IN THE DEO??????

AGENTDAMNVERS: yeah it’s lined with lead otherwise we’d be constantly restocking it

KARA: im gonna find it

KARA: im gonna taste the rainbow

AGENTDAMNVERS: and then I’ll beat your cute alien butt in the combat room

KARA: :(

AGENTDAMNVERS: see you at lunch

KARA: see u at lunch save me some skittles and pizza

AGENTDAMNVERS: no guarantees

**AGENTDAMNVERS, KARA left the chat**


	5. When the chat is used properly

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 13:47 UTC--**

**KARA joined the chat**

KARA: help

KARA: helpppp

KARA: HELP

KARA: hELP MEEEEEE

KARA: GUYS HELPPPPPPPP

**MARSBAR joined the chat**

KARA: hANK FINALLY

MARSBAR: kara? what is wrong?

KARA: asdddddddddddddddddddddddd

MARSBAR: kara? KARA?

MARSBAR: I’m going to call if you don’t answer me

KARA: kryptonite

**MARSBAR initiated GPS tool on KARA**

**KARA -- 34°20'12.9"N 118°06'47.2"W**

MARSBAR: we’re en-route

MARSBAR: hold on Kara

MARSBAR: we can’t see you

MARSBAR: are you underground? I can hear your thoughts

KARA: don’t shapeshift

KARA: lord

MARSBAR: Max Lord? Or are you just saying lord as an interjection?

KARA: Hello I have assumed command of this device

MARSBAR: Lord?

KARA: Maybe

KARA: Hold on I’m attacking your systems

**MARSBAR closed KARA’s connection**

**AGENTDAMNVERS, LUCE joined the chat**

**AGENTDAMNVERS changed name to ALEX**

LUCE: what’s going on?

MARSBAR: Kara’s underground with Lord, he has her phone

MARSBAR: I was able to sever Kara’s connection

MARSBAR: in-case Alex’s “chat” isn’t “secure”

ALEX: we’ll talk about that later I’m one click out

LUCE: I’m approaching the signal you sent Hank

MARSBAR: Kara told me not to shift I need you here now Alex

ALEX: move to comms

LUCE: see you hank

LUCE: is that a shovel???

LUCE: don’t tell me Lord and Kara are getting cuddly in a coffin

LUCE: sounds like something cat would do

LUCE: bury them both alive

MARSBAR: stop trying to be funny and get down here

**MARSBAR, ALEX, LUCE left the chat**

**WEEN joined the chat**

WEEN: guys cat is asking for kara

WEEN: she’s going for the m&ms

WEEN: did something happen?

WEEN: I hate being left in the dark

**THE LORD joined the chat**

WEEN: hello?

THE LORD: Hello…. Ween

WEEN: im Winn

THE LORD: Winn

THE LORD: What is this chat for?

WEEN: shenanigans mostly

WEEN: alex tried to keep it serious but that failed

WEEN: wait… are you max lord??

THE LORD: Yes

WEEN: shit okay um

WEEN: bye bye

**WEEN banned THE LORD’s IP address**

WEEN: hopefully that keeps him out

WEEN: where is everyone???

THE LORD: Well Winn you didn’t quite get rid of me yet

WEEN: wtf

WEEN: don’t kill me

WEEN: I have a family

WEEN: not… biological family… but yknow

THE LORD: I’ll just take the information I want and leave you alone

WEEN: you can’t do that!!!

THE LORD: Sure I can

THE LORD: Wait

WEEN: Lord? What am I waiting for?

WEEN: I don’t see an intrusion in the system…

THE LORD: Damn it

THE LORD: Our paths will cross again, Winn

**THE LORD left the chat**

WEEN: im so confused

**ALEX, LUCE joined the chat**

WEEN: hey guys!!!! u wont believe who I just chatted with

WEEN: max lord!

ALEX: not a good time winn

LUCE: where did u chat with him??

WEEN: in here, I tried banning his IP but he still had access

WEEN: he left tho after a short chat

WEEN: I checked the channel and there was no intrusion in the data behind it all or into the connection to the DEO

WEEN: where’s kara?

ALEX: lord was holding her in a bunker underground

ALEX: he successfully manufactured kryptonite

ALEX: we’re en-route to the DEO, kara won’t be back at work today

WEEN: oh okay I’ll tell cat

WEEN: wish me luck

LUCE: good luck weenie

**WEEN, ALEX, LUCE left the chat**


	6. Thunderstorms and Sitcoms

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 10:23 UTC--**

**KARA, LUCE, WEEN, ALEX joined the chat**

KARA: morning!!!

KARA: i hate sun beds

KARA: nothin better than the real sun

KARA: not this fake sun trash

WEEN: are you… chatting while in a content meeting??

KARA: …maybe

ALEX: kara you feeling okay?

ALEX: yesterday was intense

LUCE: kara’s fine she has her memes

KARA: u heard luce, i have memes so im okay

KARA: i shouldn’t post memes while im in this meeting tho

KARA: they’re talking about morbid stuff so if I laugh…

WEEN: if you laugh you’ll have to make up some stupid excuse

WEEN: james told me about that ‘kitten video’ excuse you made up a while back

KARA: good times good times

KARA: if cat had heat vision my face woulda been goop

LUCE: weather radar says a pretty bad storm’s coming in

LUCE: flash flooding and stuff

KARA: really?? I’ll tell cat she’ll want the scoop

ALEX: confirmed: kara’s love for thunderstorms has been outdone by her love for getting cat the scoop

LUCE: honestly giving cat a good scoop is pretty satisfying I witnessed it once

LUCE: cat actually smiled and I had an out of body experience

LUCE: cant really blame kara for being head over heels for the woman

KARA: hey!!! dont make me smile they’re talking about holding a funeral for max lord’s credibility

KARA: its so sad

WEEN: rip Lord Industries 2k16

WEEN: cant believe I was a fanboy for that guy not even two months ago

KARA: ur stronger now ween

KARA: join the light side we have cookies

WEEN: kara that’s not how it goes

LUCE: let a girl dream, ween

WEEN: she dreams of pizza only

KARA:

LUCE: !!!!!!!

LUCE: pizza!

KARA: im back at my desk now

KARA: just realised how much my butt hurts

KARA: from being thrown around without powers yesterday

LUCE: sure…. thrown around and not punished by cat

KARA: luce!!! no!

ALEX: you guys are ridiculous

ALEX: kara you made memes of yourself…

KARA: ikr im so meta

ALEX: oh my god

WEEN: I need to get some popcorn this is great

KARA: can I have some popcorn

WEEN: no you’re a vacuum you’ll just suck it all up

KARA: i promise i wont

WEEN: no

LUCE: don’t worry kara I’ll get u some popcorn

KARA: i love you lucy

KARA: so much

ALEX: keep it in your pants kara

LUCE: love u too soupgirl

ALEX: I’m going to go… do some work

LUCE: don’t be jealous alex

LUCE: I know for a fact kara loves you too

LUCE: just not as much as she loves cat

**ALEX left the chat**

KARA: D:

WEEN: why isn’t our life a sitcom?

LUCE: because you’d cringe at the forced laughter from the audience

WEEN: true

WEEN: also im a terrible actor

WEEN: I know, I tried getting into the business once

KARA: I just spit out my coffee

WEEN: I know some of it landed on me

WEEN: thanks for that


	7. Layouts and an Outsider

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here she is ;)

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 17:02 UTC--**

**KARA, WEEN, JAMES OLSEN joined the chat**

KARA: Obama!!!

KARA: ur back!

WEEN: hey james what’s up

JAMES OLSEN: can we be nice? Please?

WEEN: aw he asked nicely

WEEN: we better behave kara

KARA: ok weenie

KARA: how are those layouts james??

JAMES OLSEN: brutally honest?

JAMES OLSEN: Lois Lane would do a better job than this

KARA: wow low blow

KARA: look at all those w’s omg

WEEN: im gonna come and look give me a sec

WEEN: also you should say that to cat’s face she’d love it

JAMES OLSEN: alright

KARA: I gotta stay here, miss grant seems…. edgy

WEEN: edgy?

KARA: she keeps glancing at me

KARA: its shifty

KARA: and also I cant stop blushing help

JAMES OLSEN: okay I should get these layouts to Cat it’s 5 and I want to go home

WEEN: same, also they’re terrible

JAMES OLSEN: okay, layouts dropped, I’m outta here

WEEN: later james

**JAMES OLSEN left the chat**

WEEN: Cat’s coming out of her office oh no

WEEN: KARA SHE’S COMING STRAIGHT FOR ME HELP DISTRACT HER

WEEN: shit she’s calling me into her office

KARA: winnn!!!!! oh my god

KARA: WINN

KARA: DID SHE SEE MORE MEMES???

KARA: tell alex she’ll be able to find my body dangling from cat’s balcony

WEEN: she’s ordering me to get her in on whatever we’ve been doing the past week

KARA: WINN YOU CANT

KARA: WINN DON’T OH MY GOD

WEEN: i… I have to

WEEN: for my job security

KARA: alex is going to SLAY me in my SLEEP

KARA: WINN I BEG PLS JUST BUMBLE UR WAY OUT OF IT

KARA: SAY YOU HAVE “MAN PROBLEMS”

**CAT GRANT joined the chat**

KARA: SHIT

KARA: I mean

KARA: welcome miss grant!!!

KARA: its me, kara

KARA: ur faithful assistant

CAT GRANT: what on earth is this

CAT GRANT: yes I know who you are, Kiera

WEEN: im so sorry

CAT GRANT: You better be sorry, for keeping this from me

CAT GRANT: Yes, another platform on which I can order a latte

CAT GRANT: and also traumatise Kylie

KARA: D:

**CAT GRANT changed KARA’s name to KIERA**

CAT GRANT: much better

KIERA: …

CAT GRANT: why are you shrinking down into your chair

CAT GRANT: confidence, Kiera, you must exude it

**ALEX joined the chat**

KIERA: ALEX!!! everything is okay!! All normal, nothing to see here

ALEX: um

CAT GRANT: Hello Alex

ALEX: what in the fresh hell is this

ALEX: cat grant is in the chat

ALEX: please tell me I’m dreaming

WEEN: that would be a negative, agent

KIERA: guess its safe to say im not coming home tonight

KIERA: then again this is winn’s fault

ALEX: care to explain?

WEEN: kara couldn’t keep her memes on the down low

CAT GRANT: oh yes, the “memes” I saw one the other day over Kiera’s shoulder

CAT GRANT: I have thus invested in a meat cleaver

CAT GRANT: I am prepared to use it

ALEX: that is illegal on so many levels

**ALEX changed CAT GRANT’s name to ANGRYKITTEN**

ANGRYKITTEN: who do you think you are, Alex?

ALEX: a highly trained operative

ALEX: who’s going to steal your meat cleaver

WEEN: honestly this isn’t a bad idea

WEEN: having miss grant in the chat

ALEX: winn please

ALEX: enlighten us, since you let her in

WEEN: she knows who kara is

WEEN: she commands the media

WEEN: she is a highly valuable asset to the team, potentially

KIERA: um uhhhhhh uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ALEX: how in the FUCK does she know?

ANGRYKITTEN: I can be very persuasive

ANGRYKITTEN: also, language Alex

ALEX: yes, I know this, I’m sister to one of your “disciples”

ANGRYKITTEN: Let’s not bring religion into this, Alex

ALEX: I’ll bring your intrusive ass into this, Grant

ALEX: I’m telling Hank about this

KIERA: GUYS PLEASE

WEEN:

KIERA: YOU’RE NOT HELPING WINN

KIERA: nice photoshop skills tho A+++

ANGRYKITTEN: you’re fired

KIERA:

KIERA: IM SOOO SORRY I HAD TO

ANGRYKITTEN: I should fire everyone

ANGRYKITTEN: hire 50-somethings who have no idea what a “meme” is

ANGRYKITTEN: also that was a decent picture of me and now you’ve ruined it

**ANGRYKITTEN changed name to CAT**

CAT: you may call me Cat here

CAT: Miss Grant in person, otherwise you’re all truly fired

KIERA: ok… cat…

WEEN: I feel somewhat better about my job right now

CAT: don’t get used to it

CAT: I need to go, I’m cooking dinner for Carter

KIERA: okay tell carter I said hiii!!!

**CAT left the chat**

KIERA: am I dreaming?

WEEN: im not sure

KIERA: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	8. Midnight and Playfulness...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> winkwinkwink

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 01:16 UTC--**

**CAT joined the chat**

**CAT added KIERA**

KIERA: what’s wrong???

KIERA: it’s 1am

CAT: did you see the news?

KIERA: no I was busy… doing stuff

CAT: max lord’s body was found

KIERA: um

KIERA: for real?

CAT: yes, Kiera, for real

CAT: do keep up

CAT: you’re the only one around here that tells lies anyway

CAT: even if no one believes them

KIERA: he’s… dead??

CAT: yes

KIERA: oh well

KIERA: he kinda had it coming

CAT: that is true

KIERA: how are you?

CAT: drinking

KIERA: coulda guessed

KIERA: im… relaxin

KIERA: just got in from patrol

KIERA: alex texted me about lord they’re handling it

CAT: okay

CAT: you did?

CAT: do you even need sleep?

KIERA: is this off the record?

CAT: I’m feeling nice, so yes

KIERA: I dont really but growing up I had to fit in so I learnt how to sleep

KIERA: otherwise id be just chillin out by myself for like ten hours

CAT: wish I didn’t have to sleep

KIERA: I like sleep

KIERA: u never know what journey ur brain is gonna go on when u close ur eyes

CAT: even you can make sleeping sound fun

KIERA: its fun when ur not alone too

CAT: are you… flirting?

KIERA: uMMM

KIERA: noooOOO????

CAT: mhm

CAT: that’s what someone who’s flirting would say

KIERA: (ಥ﹏ಥ)

CAT: what on earth is that

KIERA: he’s… crying

CAT: kara

CAT: the news today has been so depressing

CAT: cheer me up

KIERA: oh okay? hold on

KIERA:

CAT: thank you

KIERA: did u laugh??

CAT: yes

CAT: I like that “meme”

KIERA: why do u keep putting it in quotations

CAT: I’m unsure how to use the term

KIERA: ur using it just fine!!

CAT: okay then

CAT: thank you, again

KIERA: ur welcome “cat” the “meme” connoisseur

CAT: that’s a rather involved title

CAT: wait why is my name in quotations?

CAT: are you suggesting I’m not Cat?

KIERA: ummm no

KIERA: ur definitely cat

CAT: glad we cleared that up

KIERA: are u gonna sleep soon??

CAT: I suppose so

KIERA: did u tell Carter hi like I asked?

CAT: yes, he also says hi

CAT: he wants you to come over for dinner sometime

KIERA: is this you asking me to come for dinner??? :o

CAT: if you want

KIERA: of course cat

KIERA: and I wouldnt… be coming only for carter

CAT: now this is blatant flirting

KIERA: I know

KIERA: fire me if u want

CAT: honestly

CAT: I don’t think I could even if I wanted to

KIERA: wow

KIERA: are we in confessional rn?

CAT: I don’t see a cheap wooden screen smelling heavily of lacquer so no

KIERA: lol

CAT: kara?

KIERA: yeah cat??

**CAT changed KIERA’s name to KARA**

KARA: :)

CAT: you earned it

**CAT left the chat**

 


	9. Board Meetings and Flipped Desks

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 13:06 UTC--**

**CAT, WEEN joined the chat**

CAT: where is kara

WEEN: not sure

WEEN: hold on

**WEEN added KARA**

WEEN: kara

KARA: here come dat boi

KARA: oh shit waddup

CAT: kara?

KARA: yeah

CAT: where are you

KARA: ????

CAT: board meeting

KARA: OHHHHH SHIT

KARA: I MEAN

KARA: IM COMING

CAT: take your time

WEEN: anyone need… IT support?

CAT: I need kara support

WEEN: not sure im qualified for that

KARA: I GET IT IM RUNNING

CAT: careful, OH&S will get you

CAT: if you’re still as clumsy as you usually are

KARA: I FORGOT THE LIST U NEEDED OH GOD

CAT: is something wrong? You’re usually a much better assistant

WEEN: she flipped her desk over by “accident”

CAT: where’s my x-ray vision when I need it

WEEN: great im gonna have to pick up all these pens

WEEN: and try to get this desk upright again

WEEN: have fun w the board

**WEEN left the chat**

**LUCE joined the chat**

LUCE: what was that noise?

LUCE: I heard a loud bang from my office

CAT: I’m assuming it was Kara on her way to me

LUCE: oh hey miss grant I didn’t know you were in on this

CAT: I wasn’t until the end of last week

CAT: you can call me cat here, but nowhere else

LUCE: got it

LUCE: do u need me at all??

CAT: no, kara’s here now

LUCE: alright

LUCE: im almost done drawing up the contracts for the new hires though

CAT: good, I should listen in to what these old white men are saying

LUCE: you and kara are a force to be reckoned with

LUCE: don’t sweat it

CAT: I don’t sweat anyway

LUCE: right, of course

LUCE: perfect specimen

CAT: that would be kara

LUCE: ….

CAT: don’t tell her I said that

LUCE: it’ll be hard not to

LUCE: ;)

LUCE: you should tell her yourself

LUCE: she’d probably faint

CAT: good to know

**CAT left the chat**

**LUCE added ALEX**

ALEX: what’s up

LUCE: cat called kara a perfect specimen

ALEX: to her face?

LUCE: no but I told her to

ALEX: ohmygod

ALEX: maybe this chat is a blessing and winn was right about cat

ALEX: if they finally get their shit together…

ALEX: because of a group chat…

LUCE: kara will start making cute memes about cat

LUCE: with heart eyes

ALEX: oh no

LUCE: oh yes

LUCE: should we help them??

ALEX: no

ALEX: yes

ALEX: I don’t know?

LUCE: they’d be so cute

ALEX: I don’t like cat but I want kara to be happy so I don’t know

LUCE: alex wait

LUCE: check the list of people in the chat rn

ALEX: oh

ALEX: we’re fucked

KARA: YOU’RE ALL DEAD

**ALEX, LUCE left the chat**


	10. Beatles and Birthdays

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 14:06 UTC--**

**MARSBAR, ALEX joined the chat**

ALEX: good afternoon hank

MARSBAR: alex please change my name

MARSBAR: I would like my own name preferably

ALEX: you want to disappoint kara?

MARSBAR: no, she is like a daughter to me

MARSBAR: I would never want to disappoint her

ALEX: aw cute

ALEX: let me change it

**ALEX changed MARSBAR’s name to J’ONNLENNON**

J’ONNLENNON: what kind of name is this

J’ONNLENNON: it is only half correct

ALEX: imagine all the people…

ALEX: living for today…

J’ONNLENNON: alex you are confusing me

ALEX: lighten up hank

ALEX: it’s lucy’s birthday

J’ONNLENNON: yes, I must go and get her a present

ALEX: ooo a present?

J’ONNLENNON: maybe a nice new pistol

ALEX: hank is that a good idea

J’ONNLENNON: yes, alex, she will like it

ALEX: whatever you say, sir

**J’ONNLENNON left the chat**

**CAT, KARA joined the chat**

CAT: do I really have to attend this birthday party?

KARA: yes cat, it’s lucy

KARA: the prettier and smarter lane

KARA: u said it yourself

CAT: that’s true

KARA: also she’s an excellent general counsel

CAT: also true

ALEX: hey guys

KARA: ALEX!!!!!

KARA: hows work??

ALEX: it’s weird, hank’s off getting lucy a present

KARA: ooooo exciting

KARA: the image of hank gift shopping…

KARA: I wanna see that

CAT: not sure who this “hank” is but if kara’s interested then so am I

KARA: hehe

CAT: kiera

KARA: yeah?

CAT: you’re buying the presents

KARA: mhm

CAT: you can take my card

CAT: and don’t take too long we have work to do

KARA: sure

CAT: and if you return and the presents smell of… diesel or fire

KARA: I promise I wont do any fly-bys

CAT: that reminds me

CAT: I have attempted a meme

KARA: oh no

ALEX: oh I want to see this

CAT:

ALEX: OH WOW

ALEX: THAT’S BEAUTIFUL

KARA: …

CAT: do you like it kara

KARA: maybe

ALEX: she loves it cat

ALEX: I can tell

ALEX: she’s going to print it and hang it on her fridge

KARA: alex stop im dying

CAT: don’t die kara, at least not before you’ve bought the presents

ALEX: she cares kara, look

KARA: i…

KARA: im gonna go buy presents

**KARA left the chat**

CAT: I don’t care

ALEX: mhm sure you don’t

CAT: alex

ALEX: yeah?

CAT: back off

**CAT left the chat**

**LUCE joined the chat**

LUCE: HEYEYYYY!YY!!!

ALEX: someone’s excited

LUCE: you BET I AM!

LUCE: guess who’s old as fuck!

ALEX: cat grant?

LUCE: wow im telling kara

ALEX: no don’t

LUCE: silly, it’s me!!!

ALEX: you’re not old

ALEX: you’re my age now

LUCE: ur old too then

LUCE: suck it

LUCE: whatcha getting me for my bday??

ALEX: that’s classified

LUCE: :(

ALEX: don’t worry you’ll love it

LUCE: obviously!!

LUCE: kara’s in charge of the cake so

LUCE: 1 like = 1 prayer for kara’s cooking skills

ALEX: see you at the party lucy

LUCE: see ya then party pooper

**ALEX left the chat**

 


	11. Pistols and Predicaments

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 02:37 UTC--**

**LUCE, ALEX joined the chat**

ALEX: lucy!

ALEX: did you get home safe?

LUCE: yeah im admiring the gun hank gave me

ALEX: you like it?

LUCE: it’s the best

LUCE: cant wait to shoot cans like in a stereotypical ‘learn to shoot a gun’ movie scene

ALEX: you already know how to shoot a gun

LUCE: yes but they’re all government issue

LUCE: I cant take em home

ALEX: that’s true

LUCE: what are u still doing up?

ALEX: waiting for cat to leave

LUCE: she’s still there???

ALEX: she’s a little tipsy and she’s just chatting with kara on the couch

ALEX: kara is hanging off her every word like

LUCE: awwwwwww

ALEX: I want to sleep but I can’t as long as the queen of all meme-ia is here

LUCE: queen of all meme-ia

LUCE: kara needs to hear that

ALEX: oh well all she’s hearing right now is cat’s recount of how she once found Lord smashed beyond belief in an alley

LUCE: ooo I wanna hear that

ALEX: no you don’t

LUCE: ur not my mother

ALEX: I could be… general lane must be lonely running a government operation by himself

LUCE: GROSS

ALEX: yeah it is gross, he looks like the human form of a pig

LUCE: you hit the nail on the head with that one

LUCE: god bless the fact I got my mother’s looks

ALEX: lois didn’t

ALEX: I can point out that slightly upturned nose from a mile away

LUCE: don’t make me laugh while im holding my gun this could end badly

ALEX: go to sleep birthday girl

LUCE: alright

LUCE: I want details on what’s happening w cat and kara tho

ALEX: consider yourself filled-in in the morning

LUCE: it is the morning it’s 2am

ALEX: you know what I mean

LUCE: okay, mother

**LUCE left the chat**

**KARA joined the chat**

KARA: alex help cat fell asleep on me

ALEX: um

KARA: literally

KARA: ON me

ALEX: oh wow

ALEX: aw look at that

ALEX: she’s snoring!!!

KARA: oi

KARA: what do I do

ALEX: well miss Supergirl

ALEX: you can fly remember?

KARA: yeah

KARA: I don’t trust myself flying cat

ALEX: you can’t expect me to get her out of here!!

KARA: PLEASE

ALEX: no fuck this I’m going home

ALEX: no sleepovers for you

ALEX: you probably want a sleepover with cat

KARA: AAALLEXXXXX

ALEX: good-fucking-bye!!

**ALEX left the chat**

KARA: shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

KARA: I have to do this!!!

KARA: carry cat grant home!!!!!

KARA: I dont know whether its a dream or a nightmare come tru

KARA: why am I talking to myself

KARA: fuck it

KARA: here we go

KARA: kay im just gonna leave her… on her bed

KARA: I should leave I should go home I should…

KARA: SHES WAKING UP I GOTTA

KARA: that was too close for comfort holy shitttt

 


	12. Bucket Lists and Computer Machines

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 10:04 UTC--**

**CAT joined the chat**

**CAT added KARA**

CAT: care to explain how I woke up in my own bed next to aspirin?

KARA: alex told me to take u

KARA: u fell asleep on me

CAT: when am I going to experience flight when I’m not passed out or unconscious?

KARA: um…

KARA: u’d want that??

CAT: I may be scared of heights kara but I do have a bucket list

CAT: Supergirl activities may or may not be dominating that list right now

KARA: really?

CAT: I don’t lie

CAT: If I did however, you wouldn’t be able to tell

KARA: I dont doubt that

CAT: finally on the same page are we?

KARA: you feelin okay??

CAT: fine

KARA: sure about that?

CAT: mhm

CAT: I’m going to go and have breakfast

**CAT left the chat**

**ASTRA joined the chat**

KARA: aunt astra??

ASTRA: little one

ASTRA: I have an urgent matter

ASTRA: requiring your help

KARA: where are you???

ASTRA: I appear to have gotten myself captured

KARA: by who!???

ASTRA: alex

KARA: excuse me

ASTRA: she is holding me

ASTRA: she has kryptonite

KARA: hold on a second

ASTRA: kara time is not physical I cannot hold it

KARA: wait

ASTRA: I do not want to wait Kara

**KARA added ALEX**

ALEX: hey kara how’s cat?

KARA: no dont direct this convo to me

KARA: ur holding my aunt captive?

ALEX: really? I didn’t realise

KARA: why are you holding astra

KARA: with kryptonite

ALEX: she broke my window

KARA: what

ALEX: she came through the window for some reason

ALEX: I am punishing her

ASTRA: help

KARA: shouldnt she be at the DEO?

ALEX: she looked so sad in there kara

ALEX: what else was I supposed to do??

ALEX: you must’ve inherited the puppy face from her

ASTRA: I do not resemble a dog

ALEX: yeah because you don’t know how to roll over or just sit

ASTRA: I do, but not for you

KARA: so do I have to come and take my aunt back or what

ALEX: no leave this to me

KARA: only if u remove the kryptonite

ALEX: fine

ASTRA: can I have some of that nice juice Alex?

ALEX: only if you behave

ASTRA: I promise

ALEX: somehow I don’t believe you

KARA: we cant tell hank about this

KARA: also aunt astra how are you in this chat rn

ASTRA: Alex chained me to her desk

ASTRA: There is a computer machine here

KARA: its… just called a computer

ASTRA: This computer machine makes some funny sounds

ALEX: see kara? she’s happy

ASTRA: yes I have my nice juice now too

KARA: im gonna

KARA: go back to sleep

ALEX: sweet dreams kara

ASTRA: will the Cat woman bless your dreams?

KARA: EXCUSE ME???

ALEX: dont kill me

KARA: YOU TOLD HER ABOUT CAT

ASTRA: She sounds like a suitable mate for you Kara, I approve though I haven’t met her

KARA: im going to kill you alex

ASTRA: If you kill her I will inherit the nice juice so I won’t stop you

**ALEX left the chat**


	13. Vending Machine Redux

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 14:10 UTC--**

**KARA, WEEN, LUCE joined the chat**

KARA: okay so welcome to operation Find the Vending Machine

WEEN: alex told us she would kill us if we helped u find it

KARA: UR IN CAHOOTS WITH THE ENEMY??

LUCE: lol cahoots

KARA: luce cmon

WEEN: u could just threaten us with heat vision then we’d HAVE to comply

WEEN: because ur an unstable alien

KARA: im… offended?

LUCE: well we just knew it existed just not where

LUCE: maybe alex told no one and just binges by herself

KARA: she would do that

WEEN: alright so I left a backdoor in the DEO systems when I was last there

LUCE: ween ur lucky im working at catco otherwise you’d be in a holding cell rn

WEEN: I know

KARA: handy

KARA: how do u find a vending machine on the DEO systems?

WEEN: its digital, kara, we’re in the 21st century

KARA: right

WEEN: plus ur species is more advanced???

KARA: I GET IT WINN CAN WE SKIP TO THE FINDING OF SNACKS

LUCE: hook me up I want snacks

WEEN: alright there’s an unnamed machine in sub-level 5

KARA: DEO goes that deep?

WEEN: yes kara

WEEN: it goes to sub-level 23

LUCE: holy shit

LUCE: sounds like they tried digging to china failed and then did something with the space

LUCE: lord knows what’s down there

WEEN: Lord probably does if his hacking the system did anything

KARA: can we not talk about Lord and instead talk about snacks???

KARA: okay guess im going to sub-level 5 then

LUCE: im coming too wait for me

KARA: gurl im not waiting for ur slow ass im getting those skittles

LUCE: why are u so mean when it comes to snacks???

KARA: im hungry leave me alone

**KARA left the chat**

**J’ONNLENNON joined the chat**

**J’ONNLENNON changed name to HANK**

HANK: I figured it out finally

LUCE: hey hank good for u

HANK: what is happening

HANK: I can hear kara’s thoughts is she here?

LUCE: um…. No?

WEEN: she’s at catco I swear

HANK: I don’t trust either of you

WEEN: yeah and I suck at lying even over chat

WEEN: she’s going after alex’s vending machine

HANK: alex has a vending machine?

HANK: where?

WEEN: sub-level 5

HANK: I am hungry I am going to go and find it

**HANK left the chat**

LUCE: well shit

LUCE: gotta admit im more afraid of alex than I am of kara

WEEN: we fucked up lucy

LUCE: you fucked up by telling her!

WEEN: fine I fucked up

WEEN: don’t mind me im going to move to Australia

LUCE: bro if you want to survive you’re gonna have to leave the solar system

WEEN: damnit

**ALEX joined the chat**

LUCE: hey alex nothing to see here

ALEX: that means there’s something to see here

WEEN: hank and kara are using ur vending machine

LUCE: better go fire up the spaceship ween

ALEX: too bad I have three back-up vending machines hidden

ALEX: because you all suck and I knew this would happen

LUCE: alex what


	14. Holo-mothers and Stolen Phones

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 19:53 UTC--**

**KARA, ALEX, LUCE joined the chat**

ALEX: lucy what are you doing

LUCE: me??

ALEX: yes, you

ALEX: who else in here is called lucy?

LUCE: right

LUCE: im… learning things?

ALEX: what things

LUCE: about space

ALEX: sure, okay

ALEX: is space funny? Why are you laughing

LUCE: um, there are these… space crocodiles

ALEX: okay well

ALEX: turn her off before you leave, I’m going home

LUCE: sure thing

LUCE: alura has a nice voice

KARA: what the hell is going on

ALEX: lucy’s in the DEO hanging out with alura

KARA: my holo-mother??

ALEX: that’s the one

KARA: I thought u and I were the only ones with access??

ALEX: looks like lucy can get in there

ALEX: and she’s enjoying it

LUCE: alura is cute

LUCE: especially when she says “im not programmed to respond”

KARA: pls don’t talk about my digital mom like that

LUCE: sure, whatever, miss ‘I sleep with my boss’

KARA: THAT’S NOT TRU AND U KNOW IT

ALEX: alright well, bye

**ALEX left the chat**

KARA: lucy!!!

LUCE: reckon ur mom has the ability to generate memes?

KARA: wtf

LUCE: she’s plugged in, right?

KARA: idk lucy she’s my mother

LUCE: im sure she knows all about ur memes

KARA: memes about lucy lane

LUCE: hey!!

KARA: also this one tho

KARA: bc im proud of this one

KARA:

LUCE: aww lil kitty grant

KARA: Why is it that whenever I am absent I miss these memes?

KARA: That cat is too chubby to be me, clearly

LUCE: oh shit is that u cat

LUCE: wait what are u doing with kara at 7

KARA: I have stolen her phone

KARA: Hiding in the bathroom, she won’t come in if I’m naked

LUCE: that is definitely too much information

KARA: I’m proud of my body, thank you Lane

LUCE: still at work??

KARA: We are at my house

LUCE: oo that’s interesting

KARA: Interesting?

LUCE: yeah we’re all waiting for you two to figure it out

KARA: Figure what out?

LUCE: …nothing

KARA: You’re on thin ice, Lucy

LUCE: too bad im small and don’t weigh much, im not going thru that ice

KARA: I will push you through that ice myself

LUCE: id like to see u try walking on ice

LUCE: u know what, I think kara would definitely go in the bathroom whether someone’s naked in there or not

LUCE: everyone thinks she’s a prude

LUCE: she’s def not

LUCE: have u seen her play beach volleyball??

LUCE: she will touch you and not be ashamed about it

LUCE: anything to win

KARA: lucy what did she say

LUCE: welcome back memelord

KARA: lucy!!

LUCE: nothin mostly just the fact she hid in the bathroom

LUCE: was she naked when you busted in??

KARA: goddamnit

**CAT joined the chat**

LUCE: welcome back cat

KARA: um hey

CAT: kara

KARA: yeah??

CAT: congrats on your kissing abilities

CAT: they are… above adequate

KARA: cat!!!!!!

LUCE: OOOOOOOOOO WHATTTTT


	15. Bets and Details

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 00:26 UTC--**

**LUCE, ALEX, WEEN joined the chat**

LUCE: okay guys I have some hot goss

WEEN: spill it

LUCE: kara kissed cat

ALEX: um what

ALEX: she kissed cat??

LUCE: yeah

LUCE: cat said it was above adequate

ALEX: it was discussed in here?

LUCE: yup

WEEN: guess I owe lucy $50 then

LUCE: hell yeah

ALEX: you guys bet on it!?

LUCE: duh

WEEN: they make eyes at each other constantly

WEEN: they’re a bomb waiting to go off

LUCE: a bomb of luuuurvvvv

ALEX: no details?

LUCE: it might have happened in cat’s bathroom

LUCE: at cat’s penthouse

ALEX: !??!??!??!??!?!

LUCE: hold on

**LUCE added KARA**

KARA: ow

LUCE: hey kara!!!

KARA: the notification surprised me and I flew right into a mountain

KARA: thanks

ALEX: you kissed cat?

KARA: pretty sure I did

KARA: I mean

KARA: I went into the bathroom to get my phone back and she was topless?? w a bra on tho

KARA: I grabbed the phone but she grabbed me

LUCE: holy shit

WEEN: tmi

ALEX: okay so

ALEX: I might have to arrest cat

KARA: what??

ALEX: she needs to sign an NDA

KARA: why?

ALEX: if you two are going to start dating

KARA: well we’re not that far along

LUCE: kara ur making it sound like ur pregnant

LUCE: have something to share???

KARA: NO!!

WEEN: this is juicy I need more popcorn

KARA: winn please

KARA: I just want to LIVE

LUCE: so when u gonna say the L word?

KARA: jesus Christ

KARA: it was just a kiss

LUCE: JUST a kiss???

LUCE: gurl

LUCE: soupgirl

LUCE: listen to me

LUCE: that woman WANTS your ass 24/7 do not MAKE me go find u and the mountain u crashed into bc I will slap some wisdom on ur alien ass

KARA: im scared

ALEX: kara can you get her to sign

KARA: goddamnit

KARA: fine, yes

KARA: I haven’t even talked to her about what happened

LUCE: GO WOMAN

LUCE: GO TALK TO HER

WEEN: u got this kara

ALEX: go talk to her like lucy talks to ur digital mom in secret

LUCE: alex wtf

KARA: guys wtf

KARA: im going but this isn’t over

KARA: also alex

KARA: don’t think I don’t know that u kissed astra yesterday

KARA: I saw, I see all

ALEX: shit

LUCE: alex run

LUCE: also, u cant make fun of me and holo-alura now

KARA: wtf is going on right now


	16. Pushing and Learning

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 07:19 UTC--**

**CAT joined the chat**

**CAT added KARA**

KARA: morning cat

CAT: morning

CAT: could we talk?

KARA: about what??

CAT: what happened in the bathroom

KARA: u don’t wanna talk in person??

CAT: I feel like I wouldn’t survive it

KARA: ur not… pushing me away are u?

KARA: u always push and I wish u would just let someone in

KARA: let me in

CAT: I want to let you in kara

CAT: but I won’t unless you tell me that you don’t care if you’re talked about in magazines

KARA: I dont care if im talked about in magazines

CAT: well…

CAT: damn

CAT: you got me there

KARA: I got u everywhere

KARA: I wanna have u everywhere

KARA: wait no that sounded naughty

CAT: I thought naughty is where we’re headed anyway ;)

KARA: u just used a winky face!!?!?!??!?

KARA: never thought I’d live to see that

CAT: I’m full of surprises

KARA: I know

KARA: it scares me

CAT: I scare Supergirl, good

KARA: good??? u gonna scare me into kissing u again?

CAT: would it work?

KARA: probably, yeah

CAT: better start working on ways to scare you

KARA: wait I have a meme

KARA: perfect for what we just discussed

KARA: its great

CAT: care to share?

KARA:

CAT: okay

CAT: I have to admit that’s funny

KARA: did u laugh??

CAT: yes I laughed

KARA: I like ur laugh

KARA: its cute

CAT: I’ll fire you if you ever call me ‘cute’ again

KARA: I know u wont but okay

CAT: see you at the office

**CAT left the chat**

**LUCE joined the chat**

LUCE: TOP O THE MORNING

KARA: luce ur not a leprechaun

KARA: but ur short enough I guess

LUCE: hey, rude

LUCE: let me see what u been talkin about in here

KARA: UM

LUCE: oooooo! Yes more kissing u two should do that

KARA: LUCY

LUCE: nice meme btw

LUCE: 11/10

KARA: thanks but

KARA: can we not talk about me and cat

LUCE: why not

LUCE: its hot goss

LUCE: and im rly invested in ur love life

KARA: surely there’s better stuff u can invest in

KARA: like catco stock

LUCE: nah m8

LUCE: im here for the relationship gossip

KARA: so u can distract us from realising that ur trying to date my digital mom?

KARA: im not blind

LUCE: kara no

LUCE: its not like that

KARA: sure, not what alex says and what I hear when im down there

LUCE: damnit

LUCE: ur mom is pretty, okay?? and I know she cant really be here and I wish she was, for you to have around

LUCE: and somehow she makes learning fun and she’s been telling me all this stuff about earth that I didn’t even know

KARA: I guess that’s somethin

LUCE: plus I cant actually touch her… I mean hug her and thank her for teaching me

LUCE: so idk why ur so aggro about it

KARA: I guess I still miss her

KARA: so much

KARA: i should go and talk to her sometime

LUCE: u should do that kara

LUCE: in the meantime, go and suck cat’s face off

KARA: lucy wtf


	17. Lunch and Things

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 12:05 UTC--**

**KARA, CAT, ALEX joined the chat**  

KARA: hey guys

ALEX: kara can you come to the… cave?

CAT: my assistant will not be going to a ‘cave’

ALEX: it’s a government cave

ALEX: super secret

CAT: oh, do you have a government treehouse too?

KARA: well I was just about to have lunch

CAT: where’s my lettuce wrap?

KARA: I have it with me right now

KARA: was on my way

ALEX: can you come after lunch?

CAT: no

KARA: yes

CAT: kara who do you work for?

KARA: well kara works for catco but Supergirl works for the government

KARA: and that’s off the record

CAT: I don’t like sharing

CAT: why do I have to share you

ALEX: okay do I need to hear this

KARA: no you don’t cat im coming for lunch okay??

CAT: fine

**WEEN joined the chat**

WEEN: okay so do I smell fresh pastries or is it just me?

KARA: I have fresh pastries

CAT: she has fresh pastries

CAT: keep your meathooks away from them

CAT: they’re mine

KARA: she doesn’t like sharing

CAT: I DON’T like sharing

WEEN: okay okay I wont touch em

KARA: why is this elevator so slow can we get that fixed

CAT: well you’re the one who’s chummy with the electricians why can’t you get it fixed?

CAT: also a slow elevator might be… interesting

KARA: cat no

WEEN: ew

KARA: its too early for that

CAT: everything is better when it’s early

WEEN: double ew

KARA: im here with food okay calm down

CAT: finally

ALEX: so is that a yes or no on the coming to the cave?

KARA: I’ll come after work

CAT: …if I have anything to do with it

KARA: WHY ARE YOU SO PLAYFUL TODAY?

CAT: maybe I’m trying to scare you :P

KARA: im not scared im… confused

**KARA, CAT left the chat**

WEEN: hey alex

ALEX: hey winn

WEEN: what’s up

ALEX: I don’t want to share my sister with cat

ALEX: I don’t like sharing

WEEN: you sound just like cat

ALEX: no I don’t

ALEX: I can kill you with my bare hands

WEEN: I know

WEEN: I say it with love

ALEX: gross

**ALEX left the chat**

**HANK joined the chat**

WEEN: hey director Henshaw

HANK: hello winn

WEEN: how is the vending machine?

HANK: I ate everything

HANK: I didn’t mean to

HANK: it just happened

WEEN: wish I coulda seen alex’s reaction

HANK: she was angry

HANK: she tried to punch me and sprained her wrist instead

HANK: now I feel bad

WEEN: it’s okay hank

WEEN: ♫ everrrrrybodyyy huuuuurtssss ♫

HANK: …okay?

WEEN: I gotta get back to work

WEEN: l8r Henshaw

**WEEN left the chat**

HANK: l8r? what is that


	18. Working Late and MemeQueen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's meme brought to you by [SuperCatTrashhh](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Generaltrashhh)!!

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 17:32 UTC–-**

**CAT, LUCE, ALEX joined the chat**

ALEX: how was your lunch cat?

CAT: delicious

LUCE: is she talking about the food? Or kara? Who knows?

CAT: food

LUCE: yknow, still doesn’t clear it all up

CAT: lucy stop it

ALEX: alright I’m going to ignore all that

ALEX: when can I have my sister?

CAT: after work

ALEX: which is?

ALEX: I am aware that your hours with kara fluctuate, dramatically

CAT: 7pm

ALEX: wow okay

LUCE: they’re “working” that late?

CAT: we are “working” that late

CAT: layouts don’t edit themselves

ALEX: kara told me you were making more memes

CAT: that would be… unprofessional

LUCE: it’s true isn’t it

CAT: …yes

LUCE: I wanna see

LUCE: hook us up cat

ALEX: I have to admit, Cat Grant making memes would be the highlight of my day

CAT: you’re all so immature

LUCE: says the woman dating an alien puppy

CAT: touché

CAT:

LUCE: OH WOW

LUCE: WOOOW I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT

ALEX: OH

ALEX: OH I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE

**ALEX left the chat**

LUCE: BRAVO

LUCE: BRAVO CAT

CAT: thank you

**LUCE changed CAT’s name to MEMEQUEEN**

MEMEQUEEN: why do you do this

**MEMEQUEEN changed name to CAT**

CAT: I am not one to hide behind my feelings

CAT: instead I make them into memes now

LUCE: kara must love you

CAT: you think she does?

LUCE: yeah, queen of all cluelessness

CAT: I should fire you for that

LUCE: go kiss your alien puppy

CAT: okay

**CAT left the chat**

**JAMES OLSEN joined the chat**

LUCE: hey james long time no chat

JAMES OLSEN: hi there

JAMES OLSEN: have I missed anything important

LUCE: not really

LUCE: cat and kara are trying to date

JAMES OLSEN: well that’s pretty substantial

JAMES OLSEN: though I have seen them be… more touchy-feely

LUCE: yeah

JAMES OLSEN: they both gave me a death stare when I interrupted them to deliver layouts

LUCE: oo harsh

LUCE: we should’ve swapped places for that

LUCE: I’d love to walk in and catch them in full heart-eyes mode

JAMES OLSEN: heart eyes?

LUCE: those moments they just stare at each other like they’re the only two in the world

LUCE: sigh

JAMES OLSEN: sounds like you want to date their relationship

LUCE: that would be cool

LUCE: nah I wanna date kara’s digital mom

JAMES OLSEN: what?

LUCE: …nothing

**LUCE left the chat**

 


	19. Uncles and Dates

**\-- SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 18:23 UTC –-**

**LUCE, KARA joined the chat**

LUCE: okay so when are we gonna talk about the fact that

LUCE: alex kissed astra

KARA: yeah

LUCE: how do u feel about this kara??

KARA: um

KARA: well astra is my aunt

KARA: so I don’t feel too good

LUCE: understandable

LUCE: alex would be ur uncle

KARA: lucy pls

LUCE: hey im just stating the facts

LUCE: I think they’re perfect for each other though

LUCE: alex is a badass and astra is… a bigger badass

KARA: that doesn’t make me feel any better

LUCE: I know what’ll make u feel better

LUCE: cat grant

KARA: sure

LUCE: sure!?!? dude ur head over heels for her

LUCE: head over knee-high red heels

KARA: hey

KARA: don’t make fun of my costume

LUCE: cat would like the red heels

LUCE: if u wore nothing but the red heels

KARA: LUCY PLEASE

KARA: CALM DOWN

LUCE: I cant calm down

LUCE: im so happy for u and cat

LUCE: I look forward to having a relationship like that

KARA: I don’t think our relationship is a good role model

LUCE: I like older women too yknow

**ALEX joined the chat**

ALEX: kara please tell me you’re finished with work soon

KARA: no guarantees

KARA: what did cat say

ALEX: 7pm

KARA: nah looks more like…

KARA: I’ll probably be going home with her

LUCE: oooo sweet lord she’s taking you home oh man that’s exciting

KARA: keep it in ur pants luce

ALEX: really?? I miss seeing my sister

KARA: I know but

KARA: this whole thing with cat is really new

KARA: also carter’s been asking for me

LUCE: awwww cuteeeee

ALEX: ugh

KARA: u can’t argue alex

KARA: I know you’re trying something with my aunt

ALEX: come on

ALEX: she came onto me!

KARA: somehow I really doubt that

LUCE: dramaaaa

ALEX: I cant ever do anything right can I?

LUCE: u should’ve talked to kara

LUCE: to her face

LUCE: to see if she was okay with it

LUCE: because obviously she isn’t

ALEX: why are you so wise lucy

LUCE: because I dated james and he was an idiot

LUCE: major dumbo

LUCE: and I want you two to be happy

ALEX: you deserve to be happy too

LUCE: don’t get sentimental on me

LUCE: u loser

KARA: guys cat asked me out on a date

LUCE: AND?

KARA: I said yes

KARA: we’re going out for dinner tonight

KARA: carter is gonna come too but itll be fun

KARA: I really like carter

LUCE: he’s basically ur son already

LUCE: lil ball of shy sunshine

KARA: okay gonna get back to work

KARA: later guys

LUCE: hAVE FUN

ALEX: bye kara

**KARA left the chat**


	20. Details and Cat-Bread

**\-- SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 01:42 UTC –**

**KARA, ALEX joined the chat**

ALEX: how’d your date go?

KARA: I haven’t recovered yet

ALEX: that bad?

KARA: THAT GOOD

KARA: BLESS RAO

KARA: cat grant is a dream

ALEX: I think she’s real, not a dream

KARA: u know what I mean

KARA: god

KARA: we kissed so much

ALEX: gross can we not

**LUCE joined the chat**

LUCE: KARA

LUCE: DATE, DETAILS, SPILL

KARA: HI LUCE

KARA: I was just grossing alex out

KARA: with the details

ALEX: I don’t want to be around for this do I?

LUCE: don’t worry alex u can leave if u want

LUCE: I’ll take an interest in ur sister’s love life for u

**ALEX left the chat**

KARA: im so happy

LUCE: aww im happy for u soupgirl

LUCE: soupgirl found her bread

KARA: that should be a meme

LUCE: u should make that a meme

LUCE: and then show cat

KARA: I don’t think she’d like to be dipped into soup

LUCE: I think the whole point of the metaphor

LUCE: is that cat is dipped in YOU

KARA: oh

KARA: oh im blushing now

LUCE: im sure cat loves it when u blush

KARA: I love it when she blushes

KARA: tho im the one who gets flustered

LUCE: yes, it is in ur nature to get flustered

LUCE: stop holding back and spill the beans!!

KARA: ok so I went to her place and omg

KARA: she was wearing sweatpants and a HOODIE

KARA: SHE WAS DROWNING IN IT

KARA: she looked so cute I just wanted to cuddle her

LUCE: omg

KARA: and she looked so happy

KARA: I felt so happy

KARA: she made curry for dinner and it was AMAZING

KARA: even better than chocolate pecan pie

KARA: or dare I say… pizza

LUCE: PIZZA?

KARA: it was so good luce

KARA: I had so many extra servings

LUCE: damn I wish u had some taken home so I could come steal it

LUCE: sounds amazing

KARA: and then we played some games with carter

KARA: cat won everything but she looks so beautiful when she’s determined

LUCE: I can almost see ur heart eyes

KARA: and then when carter went to bed we sat and just talked

KARA: she made the first move thankfully bc I was a nervous wreck

LUCE: wow wow wow go on go on

KARA: she held my hands and omg she was so warm

KARA: then she kissed me and I was like

KARA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

LUCE: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH

KARA: AHHHHHHHHHHH

KARA: LUCE IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO SLEEP

LUCE: kara ur so in love

KARA: yeah

KARA: yeah I am

LUCE: that’s so cute

KARA: oh look I finished the meme

KARA:

LUCE: omfg

LUCE: she is the bread to ur soupgirl

LUCE: that is beautiful

KARA: ty luce

LUCE: ur such a memelord

KARA: memelord #1

KARA: I think I might go change and try sleep

LUCE: u go do that kara

LUCE: have sweet dreams of cat’s lips

KARA: ok luce nighty night

**KARA left the chat**

LUCE: I shall go have dreams of alura’s lips

LUCE: and definitely NOT of…

LUCE: how I actually tried kissing holo-alura and fell flat on my face

LUCE: why am I talking to myself??

LUCE: I need to get laid

**LUCE left the chat**


	21. Leashes and Threats

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 05:16 UTC--**

**KARA joined the channel**

**KARA added LUCE**

LUCE: what do u want I still have another 2 hours sleep in me

KARA: shoosh

KARA: how do I ask cat on a date

LUCE: can this wait until the sun rises at least?

KARA: no

KARA: its bugging me

LUCE: ok well u just

LUCE: ask her

LUCE: “wanna go on a date?”

LUCE: you’ve already been on one

KARA: yeah but that was with carter

LUCE: damnit kara

LUCE: ur a grown woman

KARA: no im a shy child

LUCE: I guess so in some ways

LUCE: talk to me when im not sleeping

**LUCE left the chat**

**KARA added ALEX**

KARA: alex???

KARA: u there??

KARA: damnit she must have notifications off

**KARA closed ALEX’s connection**

**CAT joined the chat**

KARA: hi!!!!

KARA: what are u doing up so early?

CAT: lucy texted me

CAT: telling me to “put a leash on your girlfriend”

CAT: what did you do to her?

KARA: im ur girlfriend??

CAT: well

CAT: we’ve only had one date

KARA: so a second date and I’ll be ur girlfriend??? :o

CAT: you make me feel like a teenager

KARA: is that a good thing?

CAT: in some ways

CAT: yes

KARA: yes?

CAT: yes a second date would make that happen

KARA: wanna go on a date?

CAT: you’re seriously asking me this at 5am on a weekday…

KARA: im not normal

KARA: so yes I am

CAT: you’re not normal, despite what you said in your job interview

KARA: heh

CAT: okay, fine

KARA: yeah!?

CAT: yes I’ll go on another date with you

CAT: where are we going

KARA: im not sure

CAT: it’s called planning ahead, kara

CAT: I’m going back to bed

**CAT left the chat**

KARA: ooooooooo

KARA: I should’ve planned

KARA: yeah that’s my fault

KARA: BUT SHE SAID YESSSSS

**LUCE joined the chat**

LUCE: I had to come back did anything happen???

KARA: U TOLD CAT TO PUT A LEASH ON ME

LUCE: yeah ur out of control u lil alien puppy

KARA: lucee!!!

LUCE: u probably want a leash don’t u

KARA: …

LUCE: kinky

KARA: SHUT UP

KARA: go back to bed

KARA: u meddler

KARA: I’ll tell my mom what u did

LUCE: oh nooooo

LUCE: im going im going

**LUCE left the chat**


	22. A late arrival and a hacker

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 19:47 UTC—**

**HANK joined the channel**

**HANK added WEEN, KARA**

HANK: winn did you see that

WEEN: see what

HANK: the projectile

WEEN: yeah

KARA: what??

HANK: an unknown projectile entered the atmosphere and landed

HANK: in national city

KARA: im on my way

WEEN: im looking at the heat signatures

WEEN: looks like kara’s pod

HANK: that’s not possible…

HANK: kara’s pod is right here

WEEN: what if it’s another one??

KARA: guys

KARA: guys don’t freak out

WEEN: uh oh

WEEN: kara says that when she’s the one freaking out

KARA: its

WEEN: spit it out

KARA: its my mom

WEEN: ohhhh shittttttt

HANK: oh my

HANK: bring her to the deo

KARA: no back off she’s my MOTHER

**KARA left the chat**

**ASTRA, ALEX joined the chat**

ALEX: where’s kara??

ASTRA: where is my niece

ASTRA: are you aware of the pod?

HANK: you’re aware of the pod?

HANK: alex is astra with you?

ALEX: …maybe

ASTRA: yes I am with alex she was just teaching me how to spoon

WEEN: DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW

HANK: this is… information I didn’t need

ALEX: I’m so embarrassed

ALEX: astra you’re going to pay for this

ASTRA: I don’t have any money

ASTRA: that’s why you buy the food

ALEX: oh my god

ASTRA: let us go back to the topic

ASTRA: there was a pod landing

HANK: kara is there

WEEN: she said it was her mom

ASTRA: alura?

ASTRA: she is here?

ALEX: where’s lucy

HANK: why do we need to know about lucy?

ALEX: because she has the hots for kara’s mom so she should be kept away until everything is settled

HANK: I see

WEEN: oh boy

HANK: kara is not in the channel

HANK: I assume she is greeting her mother

**CG joined the chat**

HANK: who is this CG?

ALEX: CG?

WEEN: CG?

ASTRA: computer games?

CG: HEY

CG: WHAT’S UP

ALEX: um hi there who are you

HANK: identify yourself please

CG: I’M SUPER COOL

HANK: that’s not helpful

HANK: this is a private channel

CG: I’M SUPER SMART

WEEN: im gonna trace the IP

CG: GOOD LUCK WITH THAT

WEEN: can u stop shouting pls

CG: only if I can see Supergirl

ALEX: why do you need to see Supergirl

CG: because she’s cool

CG: and we’d be great friends

ALEX: I don’t even know who you are

CG: who else has the initials CG

ALEX: cat grant?

CG: silly, no

ASTRA: what is happening

WEEN: I cant… trace the IP

WEEN: wtf

CG: are you smarter than a 5th grader?

CG: the answer is NO

ALEX: so you’re saying that you’re a little kid

CG: im not a little kid

CG: I’m a big kid

CG: smart kid

WEEN: carter grant

CG: uh oh

CG: mom’s gonna be mad

WEEN: definitely

CG: oK GOTTA GO BYE

**CG left the chat**

**KARA joined the chat**

WEEN: KARA

WEEN: carter hacked into the channel but left

WEEN: that doesn’t matter now tho

WEEN: how is ur mom

KARA: she’s fine

ALEX: where are you?

KARA: next to the outbound national city freeway

KARA: she’s disorientated

KARA: I’ll only bring her in if you can guarantee her release

KARA: she’s not a threat

HANK: I can deem her not a threat

HANK: bring her in

HANK: we’ll need someone to look after her in a secure location though

ASTRA: I feel like staying with me would be a bad choice

ALEX: yeah

WEEN: hmm

ALEX: winn

ALEX: no

WEEN: HMM

KARA: what?

WEEN: where does lucy live?

KARA: WINN NO


	23. Situations

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 23:03 UTC--**

**ALURA joined the chat**

ALURA: hello?

ALURA: how do I use this?

ALURA: is there no intelligence in this system to aid me?

ALURA: what primitive technology is this?

**LUCE joined the chat**

LUCE: SUP KIDSSSSS

ALURA: hello?

ALURA: my name is Alura Zor-El

LUCE: well howdy stranger

ALURA: I suppose I am a stranger…

ALURA: to people and this planet

LUCE: okay well hi there im lucy

ALURA: nice to meet you Lucy

ALURA: what is this? Kara gave me a phone and this was the first thing I saw

LUCE: this is our private channel

LUCE: for text conversations

ALURA: It is very primitive

LUCE: you say that a lot

ALURA: I have just met you, Lucy, how would you know that?

LUCE: UM

LUCE: UHHHH

ALURA: I thought it was not possible to represent a pregnant pause in text

LUCE: u know there’s an AI of u right?

ALURA: I am aware

ALURA: Kara has told me about this

LUCE: I talk to her… you…

ALURA: I see

ALURA: Perhaps I should collect security tapes from Alexandra and listen to the conversations we have had

LUCE: THAT IS A VERY BAD IDEA

ALURA: why?

LUCE: um

LUCE: they delete security tapes

LUCE: regularly

ALURA: oh, that is unfortunate

ALURA: we should have new conversations Lucy

LUCE: yeah?? would kara be okay with that?

ALURA: I do not see why she wouldn’t

ALURA: I would like to know Kara’s friends

LUCE: okay good good

LUCE: we can get coffee?

ALURA: what is coffee?

LUCE: human fuel

ALURA: you require fuel?

LUCE: it would be easier to explain face to face

ALURA: okay

LUCE: I am going to sleep now

ALURA: when will I hear from you again?

LUCE: soon, I’ll talk to kara about meeting

**LUCE left the chat**

ALURA: she didn’t say goodbye

ALURA: humans are strange

**KARA joined the chat**

KARA: IT’S ALMOST MIDNIGHT

ALURA: I am aware

KARA: MOM

KARA: you’re still up? I thought you were asleep

ALURA: I have been asleep for the better part of 40 years

ALURA: I am nervous about meeting Hank tomorrow

KARA: it’ll be fine mom he just wants to make sure ur healthy

KARA: then we’ll find u a place to stay

ALURA: will I stay with Lucy?

KARA: umwhat

ALURA: I just talked to Lucy in here

KARA: this isn’t okay

ALURA: why is this not okay?

KARA: nothing

KARA: ignore it

KARA: pretend I didn’t say that

KARA: alright, it is a good idea I have to admit

ALURA: I would like to stay with Lucy

KARA: u haven’t even met her yet face to face

ALURA: I think Lucy is nice

KARA: okay

ALURA: go to sleep Kara

KARA: fine mom

ALURA: everything will be okay

**KARA left the channel**


	24. Everyone is hooking up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so welcome to the most meme-y chapter and it also is heading into THE END (FOR NOW) I'll be putting this whole thing down for a while or if the demand is high there will be more - i might be adding some non-chat-format chapters as little oneshots as a look into the lives of the characters in this story from OUTSIDE the chat room
> 
> i have loved ALL of your reactions to this story and i can't believe it took off the way that it did! thank you all for your feedback and your input too! pretty much every suggestion i've received has made it's way into this story so as much as it's my own work, it's your work too. ;)
> 
> these last two chapters have the most memes too so enjoy that :) :) :)

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 11:53 UTC--**

**KARA, CAT, LUCE, ALEX joined the channel**

KARA: heeeey

CAT: good morning

KARA: im waving at u cat

CAT: I can see

CAT: I would say you’re making a fool of yourself but it’s quite cute

KARA: hehe

LUCE: awwwww

KARA: how’s my mom luce??

LUCE: she’s great

LUCE: so curious

LUCE: so pretty

KARA: uGH

LUCE: I really like ur mom

CAT: kara’s mother is here?

CAT:

KARA: CAT PLS

KARA: I cant believe I have to deal w this

ALEX: c’mon kara it was the best option

ALEX: plus, luce is handling it well

ALEX: and she knows alura almost as well as you do

KARA: tru

KARA: im still salty about it

CAT: calm down kara

CAT: I will not have you all worked up about this in view of all the employees

KARA: but

KARA:

ALEX: OH

LUCE: I see how it is

CAT: Lucy is stealing everything

ALEX: oh by the way cat your son found his way into this chat the other day

CAT: what?

ALEX: he must be good with computers

ALEX: and hacking

CAT: I knew buying him those books about computers wasn’t a good thing

KARA: awwww

KARA: it’d be fun to have carter in here

ALEX: and highly inappropriate

ALEX: this is an M 18+ rated chat

ALEX: if we’re talking about you and cat flirting

ALEX: and lucy gushing about kara’s mother

LUCE: hey!

KARA: hey!!

CAT: alright

CAT: I’ll talk to him

KARA: im excited for our second date

CAT: kara

KARA: ???

CAT:

KARA: HOW MANY MEMES HAVE U MADE???

CAT: apparently too many?

KARA: AND I DIDN’T CRY

CAT: you sure about that?

ALEX: oh my god

LUCE: omg

LUCE: that’s soo goooooood

KARA: yeah better than u trying to date my mom

LUCE: im not pushing anything!!! It’s alura’s choice

KARA: ur making it sound like her choice is already made

LUCE: damn

KARA: IT’S ONLY BEEN A FEW DAYS

**ASTRA joined the chat**

ASTRA: alex?

ALEX: yeah?

ASTRA: can you come home for lunch?

LUCE: ooo

ALEX: sure

ASTRA: will you bring some food or should I make something?

ALEX: make something only if you can promise you won’t burn anything like last time

KARA: omg

ASTRA: of course brave one

KARA: brave one???

KARA: terms of endearment?

KARA: what have I missed

ASTRA: you have missed the development of our relationship

ASTRA: I care deeply for your foster sister

KARA: NO SHIT

ALEX: I really like her kara

ALEX: can you be happy for me

KARA: I see

KARA: okay

KARA: I will try and be okay

CAT: kara’s all about trying

CAT: she’s also all about crying

KARA: HEY

CAT: what?

KARA:

CAT: I do not cry

KARA: yes u do

CAT: when?

KARA: when u admit ur very intense feelings after drinking one too many martinis

CAT: you can’t expect me to remember that

LUCE: u guys are 2 cute

KARA: shut up

CAT: shut up

LUCE: no, you two shut up and go on ur second date

KARA: fine

CAT: fine


	25. the end is only a beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the end
> 
> the longest chapter is the last chapter because u all deserve it. so much love from all of you, all the comments make my day seriously!! as the title of this chapter suggests, the end is only a beginning, and this story isn't over just yet. there will be days where SCC tugs at my strings and pulls me back in, there will be one-shots, there will be more memes
> 
> hope you all enjoyed the story as a whole, and enjoy this final chapter too!! peace out memesquad

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 20:16 UTC--**

**KARA, CAT joined the chat**

CAT: kara

KARA: yeah

CAT: come over

KARA: I cant

CAT: carter isn’t home

KARA: im coming

KARA: should I wear the suit

CAT: yes

CAT: wear the cape

CAT: nothing but the cape

KARA:

CAT: stop using memes of myself against me

KARA: u want memes of me used?

CAT: yes

KARA: that can be arranged

CAT: are you coming?

KARA: I will be tonight ;)

CAT: brazen

CAT: I love it

KARA: and I love u

KARA: WAIT

CAT: you just said that

CAT: you said that in here

CAT: over text message

KARA: KILL ME

CAT: im afraid that’s impossible

KARA: im coming!!! To say it to ur face!

CAT: good

CAT: can you stop by the office actually

KARA: for what??

CAT: my glasses

KARA: which pair u have like 100

CAT: the good ones

KARA: that doesn’t help

CAT: cat eye

KARA: this is u

KARA:

CAT: I’m not telekinetic

KARA: yes but u have so many glasses

CAT: are those safety glasses?

KARA: yeah

CAT: why would I wear safety glasses

KARA: bc im dangerous

CAT: you couldn’t hurt a fly

KARA: pls

CAT: just get over here already

**LUCE, ALURA joined the chat**

LUCE: evening memes and queens

ALURA: there is a queen?

LUCE: yeah in England

ALURA: what is England

LUCE: a country

ALURA: okay

CAT: hello there

LUCE: were we interrupting something??

LUCE: let me see

LUCE: OMG caT

CAT: what

LUCE: u want kara to wear only the cape

LUCE: HoW kInKy

CAT: you shut up

LUCE: nice memes

CAT: thank you

CAT: now you can shut up

KARA: what happened

KARA: I got the glasses

LUCE: hey kara

ALURA: good evening kara

KARA: hey mom

KARA: how’s life

ALURA: life is life, the beginning was a singularity, due to physics the universe was created rapidly by the heat generated

LUCE: we get it alura

LUCE: she’s asking how you are

ALURA: oh

ALURA: I am fine

ALURA: I like these… what are they lucy?

LUCE: s’mores

ALURA: yes, s’mores

ALURA: it is a strange name

LUCE: yeah u said that like 10 times in 5 minutes after trying one

ALURA: I apologise

LUCE: its okay alura

LUCE: ur very pretty that makes up for it

ALURA: oh now lucy I am blushing

LUCE: awwwww frick that’s cute

ALURA: how do I make it stop

LUCE: let me kiss ur cheeks

KARA: GUYS

ALURA: I would like that lucy

LUCE: I’ll come home now from the deo

ALURA: I await your arrival

CAT: this is amusing

KARA: amusing bc I am dying my mother IS DATING LUCY

CAT: I think it’s nice

CAT: she needs someone to teach her about our world

KARA: I think u should stick to making memes

KARA: and not making me feel like a moron

CAT:

KARA: goddamnit

LUCE: she’s on a roll

ALURA: a roll?

ALURA: there are many types of rolls in this world, to which are we referring?

LUCE: a roll as in

LUCE: she is doing great things consistently

ALURA: okay I understand

**LUCE changed CAT’s name to MEMEQUEEN**

LUCE: don’t change it this time

LUCE: u have earned the title

MEMEQUEEN: fine

MEMEQUEEN: I’ll leave it for…

MEMEQUEEN: 12 hours

LUCE: YES

KARA: guys stop feeding my girlfriend’s ego

LUCE: awwwww girlfriends awwwww

KARA: u stop that now

LUCE: naaaaaahhhh u two are too cute

MEMEQUEEN: we are not cute

MEMEQUEEN: we could destroy you

LUCE: tru but u wont

LUCE: im a valued member of this group

ALURA: I value you Lucy

LUCE: aw shucks

ALURA: you make me feel like I belong

LUCE: sounds an awful lot like wedding vows

ALURA: wedding vows? What is that

LUCE: nothing forget it

KARA: lucy for the love of rao

ALURA: kara do not use rao’s name in vain

LUCE: oh boy they say that about alien gods too??

LUCE: oh boy oh boy

LUCE: okay I need to go im driving now

**LUCE left the chat**

ALURA: I will go await lucy’s arrival

ALURA: she does like the way I greet her

ALURA: it is very cute

ALURA: goodnight all

**ALURA left the chat**

MEMEQUEEN: I see you out there

KARA: no u don’t

MEMEQUEEN: come down here you alien idiot

KARA: okay

MEMEQUEEN: you better be wearing only the cape

KARA: why would I fly around the city wearing only a cape

MEMEQUEEN: true, only I am worthy of seeing you naked

KARA: yeah ur right on that

**ALEX, WEEN joined the chat**

WEEN: so I told dave that he should go shove that rook right up his ass

KARA: wtf ween

ALEX: wow the look on his face must’ve been great

ALEX: astra is glaring at me

ALEX: I might have snorted a little

MEMEQUEEN: what?

WEEN: dave, red-haired guy at work

WEEN: bet me that I couldn’t beat him at chess

KARA: wow

ALEX: maybe kara should give him a beat down with some hard-hitting memes

KARA: im not for hire

KARA: im not a service you can buy

MEMEQUEEN: unless im the one throwing dollar bills at you

ALEX: ew ew ew

KARA: I am the memelord

KARA: I dictate the memes I make

KARA:

WEEN: hey now, ur a memestar, get ur game on, go play

ALEX: is that shrek?

MEMEQUEEN: im so turned off right now

KARA: uh oh

KARA: don’t worry cat I can fix that

ALEX: TMI

WEEN: TMI

KARA: are we all still on for my birthday?

MEMEQUEEN: I am

ALEX: only if kara and cat are fully clothed

WEEN: ^^^

KARA: we will be

KARA: after u leave tho…

ALEX: uHGHHH

MEMEQUEEN: ;)

ALEX: im tempted to leave the earth

KARA: u cant take my pod that’s mine

ALEX: I’ll steal ur mom’s

KARA: NO

MEMEQUEEN: come on kara let’s just leave this chat and get on with our night

KARA: fine

KARA: see u guys later

KARA: memelord #1 out

**KARA, MEMEQUEEN left the chat**

ALEX: astra wants me to come to bed

WEEN: so when do I get an alien partner

ALEX: in your dreams

WEEN: a girl’s gotta try

ALEX: winn you’re a boy

WEEN: right, yeah

**ALEX, WINN left the chat**

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 20:49 UTC—**

**\--//CONNECTION CLOSED//--**


	26. O-S: The Stolen Phone Predicament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told ya I'd be back! Here's that one-shot I promised that expands on Kara and Cat's first kiss that was talked about in Chapter 14 – Holo-mothers and Stolen Phones. Hope you enjoy ;)

“Hey! M-Miss Grant!” Kara raced after Cat at human speed, reaching out with her hands as they ran into the bedroom and Kara groaned as Cat slipped into her en-suite bathroom and locked the door. “Miss Grant could I please have my phone back?” She leaned against the door, resting her forehead against the polished wood.

“Not until I find out what you keep snickering about!” Cat yelled from within the bathroom, reading the group message that had been open on Kara’s phone since she snatched it from the unsuspecting girl. Even being Supergirl, she had terrible reflexes.

She spotted the ‘meme’, looking at it and furrowing her brow. It was a picture of a small, chubby cat wearing glasses way too big for its face and her name was on the picture. As if the Cat was her. _Oh_.

_KARA: Why is it that whenever I am absent I miss these memes?_

_KARA: That cat is too chubby to be me, clearly_

Cat typed out some messages, letting whoever was in the group chat know that it wasn’t appreciated. When she noticed Lucy was in the chat and had figured out that it was her, she notified them about stealing Kara’s phone.

Realising that Kara didn’t have as many boundaries as one would think, Cat decided to remove her blouse as a back-up plan. Kara wouldn’t come in if she were naked to some degree. Modesty and all that.

Kara burst into the bathroom anyway.

“Please Cat!” She blushed fiercely, taking in a topless Cat leaning against the marble counter, holding her phone to her chest.

Cat placed the phone down behind her, staring up at Kara, not backing down. “You want it?”

“Yes, I would love to get my phone back.”

“Come and get it then.” Cat whispered, smirking.

Kara visibly swallowed, seeing right through Cat that her phone was there on the counter behind her. She took a breath and stepped closer, almost pressed flush up against Cat.

 _Fuck the phone_  Kara thought, and instead of reaching for the phone she reached for Cat’s face, gently cupping her cheeks and pulling their lips together in a gentle kiss which quickly turned rough.

Cat gripped the counter at first, but then her hands came up and gripped at Kara, at her stupid cardigan, pulling the girl impossibly closer.

Lips danced for dominance against the cold marble counter, phone long forgotten.

When they finally parted, Kara had her phone in hand and fled, flying back home and having the coldest shower possible. She sat in the bathtub after, looking at the group conversation. She greeted Lucy, hoping she wouldn’t detect that anything was wrong.

Then Cat joined the chat.

And congratulated her on her kissing abilities.

Well, damn.


	27. Pranks and Kitty Governments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back? Me? Kind of? Exams are soon but Supergirl Season 2 is here so I'm not waiting around. Going forward I might try and track along with the actual storyline of the show but I'm going to try keep the spoilers to an extreme minimum! Brace yourselves for more memes, more denial that characters in this are dead canonically, more laughs and more love! Welcome to Secure Communication Channel - Part 2

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 11:42 UTC--**

**HANK, WEEN, LUCE joined the chat**

WEEN: i never did get my question answered hank

HANK: what question was that?

WEEN: about the IRS

HANK: can’t help you there, talk to accounting

LUCE: there’s accounting???

WEEN: we have an accounting department??

HANK: that’s how you run a business, Winn

WEEN: right ok the DEO is a business totally not a secret government organisation gotcha

HANK: one of our branches has a front

WEEN: a front??

HANK: it’s a florist I quite like the flowers

LUCE: flowers!!!

WEEN: omg martian quite likes the flowers

**HANK left the chat**

LUCE: hey ween

WEEN: hey luce whats up

LUCE: im out and about

WEEN: how vague

WEEN: have you talked to kara recently

LUCE: no why?

WEEN: i sense some inner turmoil within her but im too busy at the DEO to have a chat with her

LUCE: guess I can make some time to find out how she is

WEEN: great I owe you one luce

LUCE: can I cash that favor in now??

LUCE: get me a portable holo-alura

WEEN: luce that’s a big ask

LUCE: cmon

WEEN: alright I can try

LUCE: thank u

WEEN: am I allowed to ask what it’s for??

LUCE: that’s………..classified

WEEN: say no more you wanna have it for when alura’s out exploring the world

LUCE: how do u DO that

LUCE: are u sure ur not a wizard? magician??

WEEN: I can pull a rabbit from a hat if that’s what you mean

LUCE: forget it

LUCE: gotta talk to kara

**LUCE left the chat**

**CAT joined the chat**

WEEN: miss grant!!

CAT: winn you no longer work for me

CAT: I am Cat

WEEN: okay cat

WEEN: its very scary to use your first name

CAT: a nickname

WEEN: oh god that’s worse

CAT: anyway

CAT: I need you to keep this on the down-low

WEEN: keep what on the what what?

CAT: I’m going to prank kara

WEEN: oh no

CAT: oh yes

WEEN: don’t tell me anything im an open book I’ll crack if she thinks anything is up

CAT: don’t crack on me now winn

CAT: I’m already half way into this

CAT: I’m going all the way

WEEN: oh im sure u are

WEEN: going all the way with kara

WEEN: sorry that was inappropriate

CAT: I’m trying to go all the way… in the way that you are thinking, yes

WEEN: don’t think I needed to know that

CAT: just shut your mouth, winn

WEEN: yes cat

CAT: I need you to mock up some fake data

WEEN: send me whatever you want done

CAT: okay good talk soon

**CAT, WEEN left the chat**

**ALEX, ASTRA, ALURA joined the chat**

ASTRA: alex I was certain that you taught alura how to use her mobile device fully

ALEX: I thought I did?

ALURA: how does use the texting

ALEX: ah

ASTRA: she tried to “text” me

ALEX: how did that go

ASTRA: she sent me “k xhhh …….,,,,” and some of those “emojis” as you call them, a cat one

ALEX: a cat one! sophisticated

ALEX: that’s gold

ALEX: kara will be so proud I bet she’ll print out a screenshot and frame it

ALURA: I did not travel many lightyears to be made fun of

ALURA: where is lucy

ALEX: oh trying to find your lady love? Your holo-stalker?

ALURA: I am trying to find my roommate, yes

ALEX: I believe she went to the florist

ASTRA: tell her not to bring any lilies to our apartment

ALEX: why would lucy bring lilies to our apartment?? Is someone going to die?

ASTRA: I found a small cat and she is living with us now

ALEX: YOU FOUND A CAT?

ALEX: AND BROUGHT IT HOME?

ALEX: IT COULD BE DISEASED I AM HUMAN ASTRA

ASTRA: her name is mittens

ASTRA: that is a popular earth name for such an animal, yes?

ASTRA: lucy cannot bring lilies because cats can die from the pollen

ALEX: well at least you’ve done research on how to care for it

ALEX: we will have a trial period

ASTRA: do not send mittens to court, she has not broken any laws

ASTRA: do cats have a government system?

ASTRA: the Google did not have any information on this

ALEX: oh my god

**ALEX left the chat**


	28. Lies and Pies

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 13:32 UTC—**

**KARA, ALEX, WEEN joined the chat**

KARA: guys its been too long

WEEN: too long since what??

ALEX: let me guess

ALEX: memes

KARA: ding ding!!! alex is correct!

KARA: there has been a serious meme-drought bc I am busy figuring out what I wanna do

KARA: cat gave the keys to her kingdom

WEEN: im pretty sure we’re not in medieval times?

KARA: and also the key to her penthouse

ALEX: kara that’s big! You’re moving in?

KARA: not yet she just

KARA: she complained about……..

WEEN: what did she complain about

KARA: i broke the railing of her balcony??

KARA: she wants me to come thru the front door

ALEX: I don’t think I want to know how the balcony railing was broken

KARA: oh no we weren’t having sex I just flew in too fast

ALEX: KARA

KARA: sorry im just being honest here what did u expect

ALEX: I expected you to still have a bit of modesty?

WEEN: so what are u gonna do kara?? for ur work?

KARA: i think i might try out reporting? It requires being out of the office so it’ll allow me to be supergirl more often

WEEN: makes sense

KARA: cat’s been acting a bit weird in the office lately

KARA: im concerned

KARA: she wont tell me anything

WEEN: oh that’s…. strange

KARA: winn

WEEN: what

KARA: what do u know

WEEN: noTHING

KARA: do I need to come down to the deo and get info out of u

WEEN: definitely not

WEEN: I don’t have any info

KARA: do I have to unleash a meme

WEEN: no?? pls kara

KARA: im gonna do it

WEEN: !!!!

KARA:

ALEX: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

ALEX: how am I going to look you in the face at the DEO without laughing

ALEX: kara it’s too good

KARA: what can I say

KARA: im a highly trained meme machine

ALEX: lethal

WEEN: that’s unfair

KARA: gonna go cry to ur figurines??

WEEN: I thought we were friends

KARA: of course we are its all in good fun

KARA: love u winn

WEEN: one of these days I’ll get u for this

KARA: cant wait

**WEEN left the chat**

ALEX: that was too good

ALEX: poor winn

KARA: I miss him at catco

KARA: but he seems to be having fun at the DEO

ALEX: yeah

ALEX: except for the badly timed star wars references

KARA: I agree with u there

ALEX: sister night tonight?

KARA: definitely

ALEX: don’t spend the entire time making memes please

KARA: i’ll try my hardest

**LUCE joined the chat**

LUCE: is anyone here competent with kitchens? Stoves? Gas powered things?

KARA: no I don’t think so

ALEX: microwave meals are my forte

LUCE: damn

ALEX: why do you ask

LUCE: alura wants to cook but im afraid she’ll set the apartment on fire

LUCE: what do I do

KARA: remind her that she has freeze breath??

LUCE: OH RIGHT YEAH

LUCE: thanks kara

KARA: honestly i feel like im the mom these days

ALEX: does that makes me the cool aunt

KARA: vodka aunt, yes

ALEX: I don’t like vodka can I be the scotch aunt

LUCE: alura is going to try and make chocolate pecan pie

LUCE: i told her it was kara’s fave

KARA: SCREW SISTER NIGHT IM GETTING PIE

ALEX: hey!

ALEX: rude!

KARA: PIE

ALEX: can I at least come with you??

LUCE: damn i really wanted a night alone with alura

LUCE: i’d eat her over the pie any day

ALEX: LUCY

KARA: LUCYYYYY

LUCE: oh, right, cover ur eyes children

LUCE: protect thy modesty


	29. Mortal Kombat and Bosses

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 18:02 UTC--**

**KARA, ALEX, ASTRA joined the channel**

ASTRA: xcseeeeen bbgt6,mp=

KARA: astra?? is everything ok?

ALEX: oh my god

ALEX: the cat just walked across her keyboard

KARA: cat? u have a cat? since when?

ALEX: since yesterday

ALEX: it’s on a trial period

KARA: oh so like after the 30 days are up u have to buy a full license to use the software??

ALEX: kara I would expect that from winn, not you

ALEX: you’re deflecting something what’s up

KARA: nothing

ASTRA: I have regained command over my controls

ALEX: where’d mittens go

KARA: u named it mittens?

KARA: so original

ALEX: don’t look at me this was all astra

ASTRA: alex do we have any of the nice juice left

ALEX: check the fridge

ASTRA: I cannot because mittens has taken residence on my lap

ASTRA: I cannot move

ALEX: oh my god

ALEX: you have xray vision

ASTRA: ah, yes

KARA: astra and my mom keep forgetting they have powers

KARA: maybe we should start looking at retirement homes

ASTRA: If you put me in a retirement home I will set mittens loose on you

ALEX: I had to clip her claws

ALEX: she is very much non-lethal

ASTRA: at this moment she is vibrating

ASTRA: is this not a characteristic of lethal weapons?

ASTRA: she must have a special move

ASTRA: like in those video games you play alex

KARA: alex please tell me u haven’t been playing mortal kombat with astra

ALEX: i won’t confirm, nor deny

KARA: alex

KARA: please

ASTRA: fatality!

KARA: omg

ALEX: ok yes I played mortal kombat with astra

ALEX: and she’s actually really good

ASTRA: finish him!

KARA: holy shit

ALEX: she also really likes the famous quotes

ALEX: better than having her take her anger out on people right?

ALEX: kara how are you

KARA: im fine

ALEX: spill it

KARA: ok im not fine

KARA: my new boss is… disgusting

ALEX: ouch

ASTRA: shall I finish him?

KARA: no astra!!! do not kill my boss!

ASTRA: the offer still stands

ALEX: I wanna kill him too

KARA: his name is snapper

KARA: how much more problematic can u get

ALEX: wow I wanna kill him even more

ASTRA: all this talk of killing makes me want to play the game

ASTRA: alex how do I operate this “ex box”

ALEX: I’ll help you later I’m getting the hot goss from kara

ASTRA: ok I will continue petting the vibrating mittens

**LUCE, CAT joined the chat**

LUCE: so then I went to the florists and found a trap door in the floor

CAT: a trap door in the floor?

CAT: the floor of the florists

LUCE: yeah!!

ALEX: GUYS SHUT UP KARA IS SPILLING THE BEANS

CAT: spilling the beans?

CAT: better not be onto my carpet

KARA: florist?

ALEX: KARA DON’T DEFLECT

KARA: fine

CAT: something wrong kara?

KARA: my boss

KARA: he’s very not nice I mean his name is snapper for rao’s sake

CAT: he’s nasty

CAT: he doesn’t like anyone its his problem

KARA: you said he really liked me!!! lies!!!!

CAT: well I had to make it easier on you somehow

CAT: lying works well

CAT: we do it all the time à la supergirl

LUCE: drama in the danvers-grant household

ALEX: lucy oh my god

CAT: if anything, my name comes first

ASTRA: cat, would you like to meet my cat

ASTRA: something tells me you two would get along

CAT: not right now

ASTRA: I’m good at fighting, not negotiating social situations

KARA: maybe I should just be a freelance reporter

CAT: kara

CAT: do not give up the fight

CAT: here this might help

CAT:

KARA: omfg

KARA: that makes it a little better

CAT: it’s like the ‘think of the audience naked’ trick

CAT: but better

KARA: I could kiss u right now

CAT: why don’t you?

ALEX: ew

LUCE: aw

ASTRA: uw?

ALEX: astra what

ASTRA: I tried to keep the chain going, I really did

LUCE: that makes me want to go find alura

KARA: lucy pls

LUCE: and kiss her until she cant walk

ALEX: I’m pretty sure you can only do that with sex

LUCE: im gonna do that too

KARA: stop this

KARA: I beg u

CAT: get to work kara

KARA: i don’t even have a chair cat

KARA: do I sit on the floor??

CAT: you can sit on my lap

KARA: im not a child

CAT: my face?

KARA: definitely wouldn’t get work done if that happened

ALEX: I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE

**ALEX left the chat**

LUCE: hehehehehe

ASTRA: why would kara sit on cat’s face?

ASTRA: isn’t that what chairs are for?

LUCE: omg :’)

 


	30. Dates and Pranks

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 09:54 UTC--**

**LUCE, ALURA joined the chat**

ALURA: lucy

LUCE: yeah?

ALURA: I have found more plants

LUCE: more!??!?

LUCE: 27 isn’t enough plants?

ALURA: I like plants lucy

ALURA: please let me have this one thing

LUCE: more like these 100 things

ALURA: please

LUCE: fine

LUCE: you have to water them tho

ALURA: I will care for my plants

LUCE: will you care for me??

ALURA: of course I will care for you lucy

ALURA: we are sharing an apartment

LUCE: no alura I meant in another way

ALURA: I might have to consult the Google I do not understand

LUCE: alura will u go on a date with me??

ALURA: a date?

LUCE: yeah we can go out for dinner

LUCE: whatever u feel like

LUCE: romance?? courting? do aliens do that?

ALURA: oh lucy

ALURA: I understand

ALURA: I would very much like that

LUCE: okay good

LUCE: I get off work at 5 I’ll come home and we can go from there??

ALURA: okay lucy

ALURA: I eagerly await your return

LUCE: oh god im swooning

LUCE: im actually swooning this is a thing

**LUCE left the chat**

ALURA: swooning?

ALURA: I must consult the Google

ALURA: oh I see…

ALURA: :)

**ALEX joined the chat**

ALURA: alex?

ALEX: hey alura

ALEX: have you talked to kara lately

ALURA: no I just talked to lucy

ALURA: we are going on a date tonight

ALEX: is it your first date?

ALURA: this is the first time, yes

ALEX: I KNEW IT

ALURA: what did you know?

ALEX: she talks all about kissing and sexing and it terrifies kara but it’s not real! It’s bullshit! Hasn’t happened yet!

ALURA: kissing? Sexing?

ALEX: um

ALEX: don’t google that

ALURA: I trust you alex

ALURA: why do you ask about kara

ALEX: she’s been acting really strange

ALEX: I’m not sure if it’s the new job or if something else is up

**KARA, CAT joined the chat**

KARA: I cant believe this is happening

KARA: I don’t believe u cat

KARA: im freaking out

KARA: u better be joking

CAT: slow down kara, calm down

ALEX: hey there

ALURA: hello

KARA: hi alex, mom, cat said she’s leaving catco

CAT: she’s crying in her office I can hear her

CAT: I don’t even need superhearing

KARA: no im not

ALEX: kara you hate change

KARA: fine im crying

KARA: shut up

KARA: my girlfriend is leaving!!!??? I cant

CAT: I love it when you call me your girlfriend

CAT: but kara, love, it’s not like I’m leaving you

KARA: might as well be!!!!

ALURA: I would advise everyone here to calm down

KARA: shoosh mother

KARA: im grieving

ALEX: oh my god

CAT: kara let me in I can explain

KARA: I don’t want u to explain!!!!! I want u to stay!!!

CAT: fine I can explain out here

CAT:

KARA: …..what

ALEX: oh my GOD

ALURA: what is happening

KARA: cAT

KARA: AHHHHHH

KARA: WHY

KARA: U HATE OFFICE PRANKS

CAT: not when I’m the one doing the pranking

KARA: I CRIED

KARA: I BELIEVED

CAT: I believe in aliens, and that they are very emotionally fragile

KARA: u used me I cant believe

ALEX: this is hilarious

ALURA: alex why do you find joy in people’s pain

ALEX: I think there’s a german word for that

ALEX: schadenfreude I think

KARA: im shook

KARA: im not coming out of my office

CAT: kara please

KARA:

 

CAT: glad to know that you love me

CAT: I love you too

CAT: I would have rather said that in person

ALEX: get a room

CAT: I would but she locked me out

KARA: fine come in here

CAT: you bet your beautiful ass I’m coming in there

ALEX: EW OKAY PLAY TIME’S OVER

ALURA: alex are you okay

ALEX: NOT REALLY

ALURA: you can leave, you know

ALEX: RIGHT

**ALEX left the chat**

CAT: I’m sorry, by the way

KARA: to me?

CAT: to all that were present during this… trying time

CAT: kara’s trying time

KARA: I’m trying to get laid

KARA: and to forget this

CAT: well in that case, continue

KARA: come in then, I unlocked the door

CAT: yes, boss

**KARA, CAT left the chat**

ALURA: i should have listened to alex

ALURA: the Google has shown me some… interesting things


	31. Just let Alura water her plants

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 21:35 UTC--**

**ASTRA, ALURA joined the chat**

ASTRA: hello sister

ALURA: astra

ASTRA: humans are strange, aren’t they?

ALURA: I rather like mine

ALURA: she is very nice

ASTRA: alex said something about a date?

ALURA: yes, lucy took me on a date

ALURA: it was very lovely

ASTRA: our names are too similar this must be fixed

**ASTRA changed name to GENERAL**

GENERAL: now I am significant

ALURA: what is the saying?

ALURA: you can take a woman out of the army, but you can’t take the army out of the woman

GENERAL: I have not heard that one before

GENERAL: I will ask alex, and the Google, about these ‘sayings’

ALURA: how is alex?

**ALEX joined the chat**

ALEX: hey I’m good how was the date??

ALURA: lucy is asleep

ALURA: we did the kissing, but not the sexing

ALEX: if kara were here she’d be dying

ALURA: dying? I do not want my daughter to die

ALEX: figuratively

ALEX: it’s a saying

GENERAL: a saying! I must learn more about this

ALURA: okay, I am relieved

ALURA: I am going to go and water my 32 plants

ALEX: it’s almost midnight alura

ALURA: I know this

ALURA: time is a strange concept

ALURA: what’s that saying? Rest is for the wicked?

GENERAL: you do not have a wicked bone within you, alura

ALURA: true, but I will have one soon

ALURA: if lucy has anything to do with it

ALURA: I’m getting better at these euphemisms

ALEX: oh my GOD

ALEX: oh my gooood

GENERAL: I don’t understand

ALEX: um let’s get some sleep astra

ALEX: like, right now

GENERAL: as you wish, alex

**ALEX, GENERAL left the chat**

**KARA, HANK joined the chat**

KARA: hey??

HANK: evening

ALURA: I was just about to water my plants

KARA: at midnight?

ALURA: why does everyone question my methods?

ALURA: I can raise a child but I cannot water plants at midnight?

ALURA: discrimination

KARA: calm down mom

KARA: do whatever u want

HANK: kara can you come into the DEO

KARA: what’s up

HANK: alien combatant at 9th and Pascoe

ALURA: do you require assistance

KARA: nah mom its fine stick to ur plants

KARA: I’ll be right there hank

KARA: oh and I want to do this

**KARA changed ALURA’s name to SPACEMOM**

SPACEMOM: what is this kara?

SPACEMOM: I am a mother, yes, but I am not in space

KARA: u came from space

KARA: I came from space

KARA: I could be spacedaughter but that’s lame

SPACEMOM: lame?

KARA: opposite of cool

SPACEMOM: cool as in temperature?

KARA: mom omg let me go fight this alien I’ll brb

SPACEMOM: be safe

HANK: don’t worry alura

HANK: it’s just a nickname

SPACEMOM: okay

HANK: I was greend00d once so you’re not alone in this frustration

HANK: we must tolerate the young ones

SPACEMOM: that name is… strange

**HANK, KARA left the chat**

**LUCE, CAT joined the chat**

CAT: I got an alert where’s kara

LUCE: an alert?? For kara?

CAT: my news broadcast picks up on supergirl at all hours

LUCE: omg since when

CAT: since supergirl was a thing

LUCE: awwww cute

CAT: cute?

LUCE: stalking ur gf before u even knew who it was

CAT: you’re lucky that you’re such a good general counsel

LUCE: hell yeah I am

SPACEMOM: lucy? I thought you were sleeping?

LUCE: SPACEMOM!!!!???????

LUCE: ALURA IS THAT U

SPACEMOM: yes my name is alura

SPACEMOM: I don’t know how to change it

LUCE: kara did this didn’t she?

SPACEMOM: yes

LUCE: betrayed, by ur own daughter omg

SPACEMOM: it does feel a bit like betrayal, yes

SPACEMOM: could you please fix it

LUCE: nah it’s cute it can stay for now

LUCE: btw are u watering ur plants? at midnight?

SPACEMOM: yes, just watering

SPACEMOM: that’s all

CAT: interesting

LUCE: did I hear singing??

SPACEMOM: maybe

LUCE: alura were u singing to the plants

SPACEMOM: yes

SPACEMOM: I am sorry

LUCE: don’t be sorry omg just hurry up and get some sleep

LUCE: and sing to me next time

LUCE: ur voice is magical

SPACEMOM: I am sure that I don’t possess magic

SPACEMOM: but thank you

CAT: I’m sure kara is thrilled at your relationship with her mother

LUCE: yeah she isn’t

LUCE: but I don’t care

CAT: well that’s certainly one way to stick it to her

CAT: I hope kara doesn’t throw herself into the fight tonight

CAT: she’s been rather angry at her boss, and at me

CAT: which is a great segue to hate sex

LUCE: oOoOoOOOoOOOoo lucky alex isn’t here right now

CAT: kara thinks she’s ready for it, I’m proud of her confidence and I don’t want her to lose that

CAT: but you don’t just get a new job and suddenly be amazing at it, have everyone rallying and believing in you

CAT:

LUCE: ouch what a burn

LUCE: lucky kara isn’t here either

CAT: saves other people’s lives everyday but can’t save her own

CAT: I see her running around the office like her ass is on fire

LUCE: was that what that thump was against the wall of my office the other day??

CAT: possibly

CAT: for a superhero she’s terribly clumsy

LUCE: I think all superheroes are clumsy

LUCE: superman broke a window and set his apartment on fire when trying to shave his face with heat vision

CAT: and you know this how??

LUCE: um

LUCE: james!! yeah they’re buddies

SPACEMOM: could you two stop chatting now

SPACEMOM: I am ready to sleep lucy

LUCE: okay great

CAT: kara’s back from the mission

CAT: night all

LUCE: tell kara I said goodnight

SPACEMOM: yes, from lucy and I

CAT: kara says and I quote

CAT: “piss off I’m tired as hell”

CAT: I’m trying to calm her down I promise

LUCE: bullshit

LUCE: u just want more hate sex

CAT: good NIGHT lucy

**CAT left the chat**


	32. Dorks and Empty Threats

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 02:28 UTC--**

**WEEN, HANK joined the chat**

WEEN: sir hank im so excited

HANK: to work as a full DEO agent?

WEEN: to meet superman

WEEN: I’ve dreamt about this

HANK: I’m sure you have, schott

WEEN: he is my everything

HANK: well first and foremost he’s kara’s cousin

HANK: so behave

WEEN: I wonder how kara feels

WEEN: all her friends pairing off with her family members

HANK: all her friends?

HANK: is that including you?

WEEN: um

WEEN: no?? i

WEEN: sir

WEEN: absolutely not I would never

WEEN: there are lines sir

HANK: unbelievable

WEEN: sorry???

**HANK left the chat**

**KARA, ALEX joined the chat**

KARA: okay clark is coming over in an hour

KARA: consider yourselves prepared

KARA: no fawning, no fainting, no… fantasizing

ALEX: if I wanted to fantasize I would towards a different Kryptonian

KARA: omg no

WEEN: ok got it kara

WEEN: im prepared

KARA: its like I can see into the future winn

KARA: a future where despite my warning, u do all of it anyway

WEEN: well u know they call me...

WEEN: Mr Unpredictable

KARA: no one has ever called u that

ALEX: more like future Mr Superman

ALEX: joking

KARA: ew

WEEN: im not ready for a relationship so don’t worry

WEEN: im too in love with technology

WEEN: married to my job, as they would say

ALEX: *cough* virgin *cough*

KARA: alex don’t be mean

KARA: I trust u winn

WEEN: thank u kara

KARA: tho honestly winn and clark would never work

KARA: two dorks in the same room?? Rao help us

KARA: also he’s with lois why haven’t any of us brought that up yet??

ALEX: because his dorkiness outshines his relationship status

KARA: yeah this is his default state

KARA:

ALEX: he’s even worse than you are kara

WEEN: what he lacks in the smoothness department he makes up for in muscles

KARA: I’d expect that line from lois not from u winn

WEEN: Mr Unpredictable

KARA: NO ONE CALLS U THAT

WEEN: I call myself that

ALEX: go winn, believe in yourself

ALEX: because no one else does

WEEN: harsh

WEEN: hey quick reminder tho

WEEN: I can change online records

WEEN: alex how’s that nice uptown apartment going??

ALEX: don’t you dare

WEEN: would be a shame if… ur name suddenly wasn’t on the lease

KARA: omg winn!!!

ALEX: fine you win this time

WEEN: winn for the win!

KARA: winn u ruined it

**LUCE, SPACEMOM joined the chat**

LUCE: alura I will kiss u until u can’t breathe

SPACEMOM: I can go without air for a very long time, you might run out first

SPACEMOM: I don’t think I even have to kiss you for you to run out of breath

LUCE: is that a challenge?

LUCE: ur on

LUCE: meet me in at the apartment

KARA: OH HELLLLLL NO

KARA: SHUT IT DOWN

ALEX: holy shit

KARA: THIS IS NOT HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

LUCE: omg guys

LUCE: didnt see u there

SPACEMOM: why are my cheeks hot

SPACEMOM: this only happens when I am with lucy

WEEN: hold on this is a popcorn moment let me grab some

WEEN: where the hell do they keep the popcorn in this base

LUCE: alura ur experiencing embarrassment

SPACEMOM: I’d rather be experiencing something else

KARA: I SAID STOP

ALEX: technically you didn’t?

KARA: now is not the time

KARA: for technicalities

KARA: I just wanted to wait for my cousin without any drama

KARA: OR WITHOUT MY MOTHER SEXTING

SPACEMOM: what is sexting

SPACEMOM: I assume this is different from the ‘sexing’

LUCE: slightly different

LUCE: I’ll tell u later

KARA: u can tell her later from 6ft under the ground

KARA: im gonna kill u

LUCE: nah u wont

ALEX: she really won’t

WEEN: definitely not

KARA: cmonnnnn guyssss let me live

KARA: for knowing I have heat vision ur all awfully brazen

ALEX: because we know you kara

ALEX: your heart is too good

KARA: its being corrupted by lucy and her

KARA: I cant even type it out

KARA: ughhhhhh

LUCE: if anyone’s being corrupted by me,

KARA: DO NOT FINISH THAT THOUGHT

WEEN: omg finish it pls I found the popcorn

LUCY: it’s ur mother!!

KARA: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**KARA left the chat**

WEEN: omg omg omg omg

ALEX: ding ding

ALEX: lucy – 101284798162, kara – 0

LUCE: heheh

SPACEMOM: did I do something?

LUCE: no that was definitely me

LUCE: and what I did…….

LUCE: is kara’s mother

ALEX: stop lucy the game’s over

ALEX: stop lying too

LUCE: wont be lying much longer

SPACEMOM: I feel awkward

SPACEMOM: my current ‘screen name’ does not fit well with the topic of conversation

WEEN: nah it made it even funnier

LUCE: yeah tru

**LUCE change SPACEMOM’s name to ALURA**

ALURA: thank you lucy

LUCE: no probs

ALEX: better go help kara introduce superman to the DEO

ALEX: touchy matters

WEEN: same

WEEN: about the touchy matters

LUCE: winn stop being so thirsty he’s taken

WEEN: :(


	33. Kinks and Lost Cats

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 08:15 UTC--**

**CAT, KARA joined the chat**

KARA: im tired

CAT: kara the day has barely begun

KARA: yeah im still tired

CAT: getting enough sun?

KARA: maybe im not

KARA: since im spending so much time at ur place w the curtains closed

CAT: are you suggesting we open the curtains?

CAT: kara are you saying you have a little bit of exhibitionist in you?

KARA: um

CAT: this is great news

CAT: at the same time, terrible news, because I have to sit through a thousand meetings today and that’s dangerous daydreaming material

KARA: omg

KARA: ok yes can we be naughty w the curtains open???

CAT: ‘be naughty’? kara we’re grown women

KARA: u gonna put me in the naughty corner??

KARA: I’ll stop

CAT: you better

CAT: stop that and start your day, chop chop

**ALEX, GENERAL joined the chat**

ALEX: hey

KARA: heeey

CAT: hello

GENERAL: has anyone seen mittens

ALEX: nope

ALEX: definitely not

GENERAL: alex that makes you the prime suspect in this investigation

ALEX: watching SVU with her was a Mistake

KARA: I would help u find mittens

KARA: but I am tied up at work

ALEX: tied up as in??

KARA: alex pls

KARA: im not THAT kinky

CAT: you’re pretty kinky

ALEX: oh my god

CAT: you’re an alien that’s kinky in itself

GENERAL: what is ‘kinky’

ALEX: back to mittens

ALEX: where did you see her last?

GENERAL: she was sitting on my face

ALEX: damn she stole my seat

KARA: can we NOT

KARA: juST FOR ONE DAY

ALEX: sorry

ALEX: (not sorry)

KARA: ur lucky I don’t voice my… adventures with cat

ALEX: more like adventures IN cat am I right?

KARA: yeah ur right alex!!!

CAT: ;)

GENERAL: perhaps I fell asleep and she left

GENERAL: I left a window open because I keep smashing them and alex complains

GENERAL: but it is a very high drop

ALEX: cats can fall from a very tall height and survive

GENERAL: yes the Google has just told me

GENERAL: anywhere between 5.5 stories to 32

KARA: holy shit that’s high

CAT: I can’t even survive a 1 story drop

CAT: thank heaven my girlfriend can defy gravity

KARA: yes

CAT: do you participate in Halloween kara?

KARA: for the last time

KARA: I am not slathering myself in green paint and flying around with a broom

CAT: come on

CAT: imagine people’s faces

KARA: no!!!!

ALEX: cat that’s the greatest idea you’ve ever had

ALEX: cat grant saves halloween

ALEX: not all heroes wear capes :’)

CAT: some heroes should wear nothing BUT capes

KARA: cat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omG!!

CAT: ;)

KARA: stop w the winky faces omg I cannot hand my article in to snapper looking like a tomato

CAT:

ALEX: god it’s like an episode of Animorphs

KARA: I can’t believe u took the time to actually make that

CAT: and I can’t believe you made memes on a CatCo tablet meaning that they’re CatCo property

KARA: touché

CAT: however

CAT: they’re very good memes

KARA: yes because I’m memelord #1

CAT: but I’m Meme Queen

CAT: Queen of all Meme-ia

CAT: or did you forget?

ALEX: do I sense a battle coming on?

GENERAL: battle? I do love battle

ALEX: go find mittens astra

GENERAL: yes, I must continue my investigation

**ALEX changed KARA’s name to GAY-LIEN**

GAY-LIEN: well that came outta fuckin nowhere!!

ALEX: I mean we’re all gay but you take the cake

GAY-LIEN: I love cake

GAY-LIEN: almost as much as I love ladies

ALEX: what a truth bomb

GENERAL: as much as I love my dear mittens

ALEX: hey

ALEX: excuse me?

ALEX: wrong answer

GENERAL: …and you, alex

ALEX: better

CAT: well

CAT: don’t call me out on this, but I do consider myself a cat whisperer

GAY-LIEN: wouldn’t surprise me tbh

CAT: kara

GAY-LIEN: ya

CAT: shut up

GAY-LIEN: gotcha, shutting up now

CAT: cats like enclosed spaces

CAT: little nooks to hide in

CAT: they also like the sun, much like you aliens

CAT: also high up places, to survey their domain

GAY-LIEN: the 40th floor is pretty high up

CAT: KARA

GAY-LIEN: yup!!! last time I promise!!

GENERAL: okay I will take your advice

GENERAL: I will look in the tight spaces and warm spots

ALEX: xray vision?

GENERAL: I have tried that

GENERAL: mittens is not in the apartment

ALEX: oh shit

ALEX: so you’re just gonna go out poking your head in tiny spaces and sunny spots?

GENERAL: that was the plan, yes

GAY-LIEN: not the greatest plan

GAY-LIEN: put out flyers or somethin

ALEX: flyers won’t do shit

GAY-LIEN: cat??

CAT: no

CAT: I’m not broadcasting a PSA to get everyone in national city looking for mittens

GAY-LIEN: had to try

GENERAL: I found mittens!

ALEX: where was she?

GENERAL: in the bed!

ALEX: my bed?

GAY-LIEN: omg

CAT: superior alien race my ASS

GENERAL: what does your bottom have to do with alien races?

GAY-LIEN: everything

GAY-LIEN: it’s a great ass

CAT: thank you kara

GAY-LIEN: 1 in 5 doctors recommend it

CAT: you ruined it


	34. Pizza and Farts

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 18:01 UTC--**

**GAY-LIEN, ALURA, LUCE, ALEX, GENERAL joined the chat**

GAY-LIEN: what a turn-out

GAY-LIEN: hey guys

ALEX: hey

GENERAL: mittens says hello

ALURA: who is mittens?

GENERAL: mittens is a cat

ALURA: cat grant?

GENERAL: no, a cat, the feline species

ALURA: oh!

LUCE: cute

ALURA: lucy you make me blush

LUCE: cUTE!!!

GAY-LIEN: aw

GAY-LIEN: I mean ew that’s my mother

LUCE: ha!! gotcha!!! u think it’s cute!!

GAY-LIEN:

LUCE: is that a meme or a reaction image

GAY-LIEN: my memes can adapt to suit whatever situation

GAY-LIEN: its some next level shit I know right???

LUCE: tru

ALEX: I think kara needs her title back

**ALEX changed GAY-LIEN’s name to MEMELORD**

MEMELORD: im the best

MEMELORD: I’d like to thank my mother, my father, my sister

MEMELORD: also the internet

ALURA: what am I being thanked for?

MEMELORD: for raising me to achieve my tru potential

MEMELORD: memelord #1

ALEX: well I for one am glad I have not been the victim of memes yet

LUCE: uh oh

MEMELORD: u just sealed ur fate alex

MEMELORD: ur next

ALEX: should’ve kept my mouth shut

LUCE: or ur fingers off the keyboard

GENERAL: mittens is scratching the furniture

GENERAL: how do I make her stop

ALEX: rub citrus peels against everything

GENERAL: I thought you were against having a cat

ALEX: well

ALEX: I want my furniture in one piece when this trial period is over

**CAT joined the chat**

MEMELORD: speaking of cats

CAT: why do you have that name

MEMELORD: I redeemed myself

MEMELORD: I am the lord of memes

CAT: alright whatever helps you sleep at night

ALEX: sassy

LUCE: sizzle

ALURA: lucy?

LUCE: yeah?

ALURA: when do we go on the next date?

LUCE: oooooo tomorrow??

ALURA: okay

LUCE: do u like pizza

MEMELORD: I LOVE PIZZA

LUCE: WASN’T ASKING U

ALURA: if my daughter loves pizza

ALURA: I will love pizza

LUCE: ok I will get pizza and we will have a nice second date

ALURA: okay I will go and sleep now

LUCE: uhh me too!!!

**LUCE, ALURA left the chat**

CAT: kara

MEMELORD: ya

CAT: want pizza?

MEMELORD: PIZZA

CAT: penthouse 5 mins

MEMELORD: ohohooohoho im gettin pizzaaaaa

ALEX: ur gonna get something else as well

MEMELORD: pffffffffff me???? maybe idk

CAT: correct, danvers

GENERAL: mittens wants cuddles

ALEX: I have a feeling that you meant to say that you want cuddles

GENERAL: correct

CAT: i feel like I should trust alex’s gut instincts more than I trust myself

ALEX: wow

ALEX: my bowels are powerful

MEMELORD: yeah talk about it

MEMELORD: need a nuclear bomb alert city-wide when u fart

ALEX: HEY!

MEMELORD: pizza gotta go

**MEMELORD left the chat**

ALEX: I’ll get her for that

ALEX: I’ll fart on her pizza

CAT: she’ll disown you

ALEX: it’ll be worth it

CAT: also that’s gross

LUCE: very gross

GENERAL: I would not wish that on any of my enemies

LUCE: alex could be onto something tho

LUCE: additional flavoring by gas

LUCE: instead of sauce

ALEX: hm

ALURA: I like the tomato sauce

LUCE: I like maple syrup

LUCE: I wanna pour it on alura

ALURA: but im not edible

LUCE: oh I beg to differ

ALEX: oh my god

CAT:

CAT: that’s kara if she was in the chat right now

LUCE: truth bomb

ALEX: very true

CAT: well kara’s here and the pizza is too so I’m going to go

**CAT left the chat**

GENERAL: alex

ALEX: what’s up

GENERAL: why does the Google think “pussy” is genitalia

GENERAL: I was so certain pussy was a synonym for cat

ALEX: cat in the early stages of her relationship with kara

LUCE: ooooooo burn

ALEX: but yeah it is

ALEX: but more commonly used as a word for… that

ALEX: so don’t go around saying “pussy” alright?

GENERAL: okay

ALEX: consult me instead of google

LUCE: that’s a terrible idea

LUCE: let the twins have the Google cmon its funny


	35. Booty Battle

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 09:04 UTC--**

**CAT, MEMELORD, LUCE joined the chat**

CAT: ladies

LUCE: cat

MEMELORD: cat

CAT: we have a visitor

MEMELORD: ya my cousin right?

CAT: yes

CAT: I cant believe you withheld this information from me

CAT: I wasn’t prepared!

MEMELORD: um

MEMELORD: ur cat grant ur always prepared

LUCE: when it comes to clark kent

LUCE: cat needs to be prepared

MEMELORD: ugh

LUCE: am I detecting jealousy kara??

CAT: ooo I’m making her jealous

CAT: the tables have turned

CAT: lighthouse technique is engaged

MEMELORD: but u already have me so the technique is pointless

CAT: still I love how red your face gets when you’re annoyed

LUCE: awwwwwww yeeeeeeeah

LUCE: cute as hell

CAT: calm down lucy

CAT: before you have an aneurysm from “shipping” too hard

MEMELORD: its nice to have fans u know

CAT: I have an entire continent holding onto my every word

CAT: I have enough fans

MEMELORD: ok well

MEMELORD: supergirl has lots of fans

CAT: keep dreaming, that’s the spirit

CAT: here he comes

MEMELORD: ughhhhhhhh

LUCE: he just walked past my office

LUCE: damn

LUCE: nice butt

CAT: he does have a nice butt

MEMELORD: hey

MEMELORD: not as nice as mine

CAT: jesus

CAT: that butt is great

MEMELORD: my butt?

CAT: clark’s butt

CAT: the superbutt

CAT:

MEMELORD: NOOOOOOOOO

MEMELORD: my butt is the superior!!

**ALEX joined the chat**

MEMELORD: my butt is the alpha dog

MEMELORD: the supreme

ALEX: what the hell did I just join

LUCE: welcome to the butt debate

LUCE: kara vs clark

ALEX: well I gotta side with my sister

ALEX: kara wins this time

ALEX: although that boy has the booty of a Kardashian

LUCE: enhanced by the sun’s rays

CAT: yes it is a bountiful harvest of booty today

CAT: but I must admit

CAT: kara does have a very amazing butt

CAT: I know it intimately

MEMELORD: indeed

MEMELORD: proud of my booty today

MEMELORD: achieving greatness in tight pants

LUCE: round 1 goes to kara

ALEX: booty battles: alura vs astra, it’s a constant tie

LUCE: a booty paradox

MEMELORD: not in a million years did I ever think I would be a part of a conversation about my family’s butts

CAT: buns of steel

LUCE: Kryptonian globes

ALEX: space booty

MEMELORD: wow ok

CAT: what can I say

CAT: kara has an excellent ass

CAT: god bless those tight pants

MEMELORD: I wear them just for you ;)

CAT: I know you do

CAT: I drop pens just for me too

LUCE: oooo naughty

ALEX: I wish astra didn’t have so much fun using her speed to catch things before they hit the floor

ALEX: otherwise I would drop pens all the time

ALEX: maybe I should be direct, tell her to take it slow

LUCE: take it real slow

MEMELORD: cmonnnnnnn

CAT:

CAT: can we have a national geographic documentary on alien butts

CAT: can that be a thing

ALEX: you can make that a thing

CAT: you’re right

CAT: I have the power

LUCE: so much power

LUCE: then again why share the booty with the world

LUCE: when u can have it all for urself????

CAT: very true

MEMELORD: my butt is not starting an acting career!!! Pls!

CAT: I should take pictures for my personal collection

CAT: find my old camera

MEMELORD: oh my

LUCE: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALEX: don’t elaborate on that

ALEX: don’t make a sex tape

ALEX: please for the love of all that is holy

CAT: I wouldn’t tell you if I was

CAT: that’s our little secret

MEMELORD: so many secrets im losing count

LUCE: maybe I should get some work done

LUCE: so many reports to do

LUCE: but so many images of butts in my head

ALEX: that’s a problem lucy

LUCE: yeah disruptions to my work flow

LUCE: to my daily grind

MEMELORD: I need to give clark a tour

MEMELORD: and attempt to ignore all the glances ppl will make at our butts

CAT: sure you aren’t packing magnets in those cheeks?

CAT: can’t pull my eyes away

MEMELORD: cat!!!!! omg!


	36. Planning and Carter Recruits Winn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone commented that they wanted 1-on-1 conversations to explore each pairing and how their relationship is - kind of vaguely answered that in this chapter! Heavy with 1-on-1 featuring the main couples with a cute lil ending, honestly i'd love to see more winn & carter hangouts playing video games and breaking all of cat's rules

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 17:52 UTC--**

**ALEX, GENERAL joined the chat**

GENERAL: alex when are we going on a date?

ALEX: when I get some free time

GENERAL: when will that be?

ALEX: no idea

GENERAL: :(

ALEX: okay who taught you emojis

GENERAL: kara did

ALEX: ugh

ALEX: we’ll go out soon I promise

ALEX: I mean we’re already intimate so dates are just for the sake of going out

GENERAL: how else am I supposed to learn the city I live in?

GENERAL: I do not want to walk around by myself

ALEX: yeah I get it

ALEX: I promise we’ll go out

ALEX: but until then… we can get to learn the bed a bit more?

ALEX: couldn’t hurt

GENERAL: we won’t just be learning the bed

ALEX: I’ll be learning your body ;)

GENERAL: the sexting does not suit you alex

ALEX: I don’t know why I even tried

ALEX: I’m going to head home in an hour

ALEX: get pizza delivered we’ll eat in, that’s kind of a date

GENERAL: okay

**GENERAL left the chat**

**MEMELORD, CAT joined the chat**

MEMELORD: so glad that day’s over

CAT: the day has only just started, dear

MEMELORD: huh

CAT: race you home

MEMELORD: u know I’ll beat u

CAT: giving you some time to relax before I join you in bed

MEMELORD: oh!! I see

ALEX: bonjour

CAT: bonsoir alex

MEMELORD: uh oh

ALEX: what is it with sexting in this chat lately? There’s too much of it

ALEX: have you all forgotten about private conversations?

MEMELORD: nope

MEMELORD: this is just convenient

CAT: still reeling from the ‘booty battle’?

ALEX: a little bit

MEMELORD: that reminds me!!!!!

MEMELORD: omg alex prepare urself

ALEX: I’m not prepared

MEMELORD:

ALEX: OH MY GOD

ALEX: no way

ALEX: why how what

ALEX: that’s your AUNT

MEMELORD: I know it feels wrong but so right? It was only me and clark in the spotlight

MEMELORD: can’t let the family miss out

CAT: oh come on

CAT: I have a better ass than that

MEMELORD: I won’t say anything on this matter

MEMELORD: bc I want to stay in good graces w my girlfriend AND my aunt

ALEX: wise

CAT: either way kara

CAT: your ass is mine tonight

MEMELORD: ohmy

MEMELORD: yep, yours, go ahead

ALEX: geez

**ALEX left the chat**

MEMELORD: what it something I said?

CAT: think we were too open

MEMELORD: wow usually that’s ur problem, not mine

CAT: I’m rubbing off on you

MEMELORD: in more ways than one ;) ;) ;) ;)

CAT: well, look who’s the suggestive one this time

MEMELORD: pffffff

CAT: I’m home open up

CAT: chop chop

**MEMELORD, CAT left the chat**

**LUCE, ALURA joined the chat**

ALURA: hi lucy

LUCE: howdy stranger

ALURA: I am not a stranger

LUCE: it’s a saying

LUCE: anyway

LUCE: what’s up

ALURA: I would like to thank you

LUCE: for what??

ALURA: for letting me stay with you

ALURA: for making my introduction to my new life a lot easier

LUCE: sounds an awful lot like last words

LUCE: pls don’t leave me

ALURA: I had no intention to leave you! I am sorry if I made you feel that way

ALURA: emotions are difficult to express in this medium

LUCE: I understand

LUCE: super happy tho

LUCE: that ur not leaving me

ALURA: I wish that you would come home from work

LUCE: I wish too

ALURA: will you be much longer?

ALURA: I have a lot on my mind - good things - that I want to say to you

LUCE: awwwwww ur so cute alura

LUCE: maybe over dinner?

ALURA: I feel really… excited

LUCE: can’t keep it in for that long??

ALURA: I have a lot of feelings lucy

LUCE: yeah???

ALURA: feelings about you, lucy

ALURA: you’re my fresh start

ALURA: my constant

LUCE: omg

ALURA: I cannot begin to comprehend what my life here would be like without you by my side

LUCE: alura pls I cant tear up at work omg

ALURA: hurry home lucy

LUCE: I will!!!!! fast as I can!!

LUCE: ♥‿♥

ALURA: :)

**LUCE, ALURA left the chat**

**WEEN, CARTER joined the chat**

CARTER: hello?

WEEN: oh hey look who it is

WEEN: little grant!!

CARTER: hey im not little

WEEN: my bad

WEEN: why u in here?

CARTER: well luckily enough the man I wanted to talk to is here

CARTER: I was wondering if u would help me deck out my room?

WEEN: is ur mother on board with this?

CARTER: that has yet to be determined

CARTER: but maybe a mini-version of her monitor display in her office

CARTER: Its really cool

WEEN: that’s doable definitely

WEEN: u gonna play games on it??

CARTER: that’s the plan

WEEN: if u can get ur mother to sign off on it

WEEN: I’ll help u

CARTER: thanks winn

CARTER: maybe one day u can look after me like u did when kara had to leave

CARTER: we can play games on mom’s screens again that was amazing

WEEN: don’t know if u heard buddy but I don’t work at catco anymore

CARTER: really?

WEEN: yeah I’m full time at a government organisation now

CARTER: wow like a secret agent?

CARTER: FBI? CIA?

WEEN: none of the above

WEEN: ;)

CARTER: ah secret I see

CARTER: well if mom and kara go out I could suggest you babysit instead of ella?

CARTER: then we could play games if my room is set up

WEEN: sounds like a plan kid

WEEN: keep me updated

CARTER: night winn!!

**CARTER left the chat**

WEEN: honestly that kid is some kind of Benjamin button

WEEN: way too mature for a teenager


	37. On Demand and Other Clingy Lifestyles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sue me okay??? i was busy with... things... and also i went overseas for a month!! also i've been focusing mostly on prompts i get on tumblr, which has been super fun but SCC is back and im gonna try and be regular with this (wish me luck lol) so in apologies for the wait here is a chapter (there might be another one shortly after??) i hope you all enjoy (and that u didn't miss me too much)!!

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL – 15:31 UTC--**

**MEMELORD, ALEX joined the chat**

MEMELORD: huh

ALEX: what

MEMELORD: its quite empty in here

ALEX: it’s been a while kara

MEMELORD: I know I dropped off the radar lol

ALEX: could’ve given me a heads up about that

**ALURA joined the chat**

MEMELORD: mom?

ALURA: sup

ALEX: um

MEMELORD: um

ALURA: wait

ALURA: shit

ALURA: this isn’t my phone

ALURA: pls hold

**ALURA left the chat**

**LUCE joined the chat**

LUCE: hello!!!!

MEMELORD: lucy omg

ALEX: wow a phone mix up? Just how disoriented are you?

LUCE: very

LUCE: spent all day in bed

MEMELORD: I don’t wanna know

ALEX: neither do i

LUCE: shame

LUCE: I had some juicy goss

LUCE: cat emailed me saying she needed me in the office so I had to get up :((((((

ALEX: good

ALEX: stop defiling kara’s mom

LUCE: aw but its so fun

MEMELORD: DIDN’T

MEMELORD: NEED

MEMELORD: TO

MEMELORD: KNOW

LUCE: im

LUCE: sorry

ALEX: can

ALEX: we

ALEX: stop

ALEX: talking

ALEX: like this

MEMELORD: it was for

MEMELORD: Emphasis

ALEX: we get the point

**CAT joined the channel**

CAT: lucy

CAT: get your lawyer ass over here

CAT: now

LUCE: omw

CAT: be ‘omw’ faster

CAT: I don’t have this problem with kara

LUCE: yeah she comes v fast on command

LUCE: ;)

ALEX: g r o s s

CAT: that is true

CAT: but that comment will not make me any less angry at you

LUCE: aww

LUCE: it was worth a try

MEMELORD: hi love

CAT: darling

CAT: how goes the patrol?

MEMELORD: boring

MEMELORD: wanna be back home

CAT: well as soon as lucy gets here to assist me

CAT: I can meet you back home

LUCE: maybe i’ll just take my time then

LUCE: cock-blocked

CAT: I’ll fire you

LUCE: no u wont

MEMELORD: lucy she will

MEMELORD: ur expendable, im not

MEMELORD: she doesn’t even need a general counsel she’s just respecting my wishes

LUCE: what wishes

LUCE: what

LUCE: hey now

ALEX: you’re an allstar

MEMELORD: get your game on

ALEX: go play

LUCE: shut up

CAT: where are you lucy

LUCE: in the elevator

CAT: good

LUCE: at my apartment

CAT: for FUCK’S sake lucy

MEMELORD: ohmg a swear

CAT: kara don’t give me that shit you’re worse in bed

MEMELORD: am not!!!!

ALEX: calm down?

MEMELORD: no!!!

CAT: I cant deal with you all right now

CAT: kara perhaps but only alone

**CAT left the chat**

ALEX: sad

LUCE: well

LUCE: I love my job so im gonna

LUCE: make my way over

MEMELORD: do u want a lift

LUCE: rly??

MEMELORD: yes rly

MEMELORD: finished my patrol

MEMELORD: I can save ur ass

LUCE: and a fine ass it is if I say so myself

LUCE: I love the mirror :)

MEMELORD: is that a yes

LUCE: yes

ALEX: lucy your ass is as flat as a pancake since you got that desk job

LUCE: how DARE YOU

LUCE: I GO TO THE GYM

ALEX: which one? certainly not your usual one

MEMELORD: comin in hot

LUCE: it’s called a bed gym and it involves alura

ALEX: oh of course

ALEX: how could I forget

MEMELORD: for that I might drop u

LUCE: I take it all back kara

LUCE: who’s alura??? I don’t know her

ALEX: you think you’re so funny

LUCE: I know I am

MEMELORD: put ur phone away or you’ll drop it

LUCE: yes ma’am

**LUCE, MEMELORD left the chat**

**GENERAL joined the chat**

ALEX: astra

GENERAL: mittens peed on the fridge

ALEX: oh my god

ALEX: did you clean it up?

ALEX: I swear three strikes and she’s out

GENERAL: what does that mean

ALEX: she makes two more mistakes and I kick her fluffy butt out of our apartment

GENERAL: alex don’t be mean

ALEX: I’m being

ALEX: disciplinary

GENERAL: think about how mittens might feel if you had said that to her face

GENERAL: a small innocent kitten

GENERAL: she deserves love

ALEX: I deserve an apartment not doused in cat pee

GENERAL: I cleaned it up

GENERAL: why do you doubt me

ALEX: I don’t

ALEX: I love you

GENERAL: I ask that you prove it, alex

ALEX: how

GENERAL: come home

GENERAL: I miss you

ALEX: okay

ALEX: I’ll leave now

GENERAL: good

GENERAL: can you acquire some milk on your way? We have run out

ALEX: you asked me to come home because you want milk

ALEX: and you can’t go and get some yourself?

GENERAL: my card is empty

ALEX: what

GENERAL: I am denied access to any goods apparently

ALEX: where did the money go? I put 5k on there!!

GENERAL: is that a lot? I wasn’t sure

GENERAL: I bought a few scratching poles for mittens

ALEX: A FEW?

GENERAL: I also bought some new clothes because my hand-me-downs as you call them were breaking apart

ALEX: and you didn’t come to me about this?

ALEX: how do you blow 5k on scratching posts??

GENERAL: mittens deserves the best

ALEX: what about me??

GENERAL: please come home

GENERAL: you will see

**ALURA joined the chat**

ALURA: astra

ALURA: mittens is yelling at me

ALURA: what does this mean

GENERAL: she must be hungry

ALEX: ok hold the phone

ALEX: mittens is with alura?

GENERAL: …yes

ALURA: I have been looking after mittens for astra

ALURA: I like when she does the vibrations

ALEX: so the cat pee thing? Did that even happen?

GENERAL: no

ALURA: did I ruin something

GENERAL: I wanted alex to come home

GENERAL: we do need the milk

GENERAL: but I just didn’t want to sound… clingy? Is that the word?

ALEX: astra

ALEX: you could’ve just said

GENERAL: I did say that I miss you

ALEX: a lot?

GENERAL: yes

GENERAL: I haven’t seen you in two days

ALEX: two days? I didn’t realise… I’ve been so busy in the lab

ALEX: I’m sorry

GENERAL: it is okay

ALURA: is everything okay? between you two?

ALEX: it will be

GENERAL: I hope it will be

ALEX: I’m getting in the car now

ALEX: I won’t be long

GENERAL: I also miss mittens

ALEX: don’t ruin it

GENERAL: sorry

ALURA: I love mittens

ALURA: she is a nice companion

ALURA: not as nice as lucy though

ALURA: lucy has a very nice butt ;)

ALEX: both the twins know emojis now

ALEX: this is great


	38. Alien on Alien Violence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;-)

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 09:56 UTC--**

**MEMELORD, CAT joined the channel**

CAT: must you still be named memelord?

MEMELORD: its my handle

MEMELORD: my rep

CAT: it’s not a good one

MEMELORD: does it make u love me any less

CAT: yes

MEMELORD: damnit ok

**MEMELORD changed name to KAHRAH**

KAHRAH: better?

CAT: slightly

KAHRAH: looks like something u’d call me

CAT: indeed

CAT: how is work

KAHRAH: slow

KAHRAH: I hate snapper

CAT: who doesn’t

KAHRAH: snapper is such a stupid name

KAHRAH: who named him that

CAT: I would presume his parents

KAHRAH: id like to meet them

KAHRAH: and give them a piece of my mind

CAT: brazen

KAHRAH: does that mean it’s a bad idea

CAT: yes

CAT: stick to making hostile memes of him

CAT: that’s a decent and humourful coping mechanism

KAHRAH: that, I can do

KAHRAH: right now actually

KAHRAH:

CAT: lol

KAHRAH: u just said lol

KAHRAH: did I do that??

CAT: yes

KAHRAH: did u laugh out loud?

CAT: no

CAT: I’m not that kind of person

KAHRAH: what kind of person are you??

CAT: your girlfriend, for starters

KAHRAH: I can’t argue w that!!!!

KAHRAH: that makes me v happy :D

CAT: emojis are banished from this chat

KAHRAH: that’s not a rule

CAT: it is now

KAHRAH: better inform my mother and aunt then

KAHRAH: they like emojis now

CAT: that’s

CAT: interesting…

CAT: going to a meeting now, see you later

KAHRAH: bye love u!!

**CAT left the chat**

**HANK, WEEN joined the chat**

HANK: supergirl

HANK: you busy?

KAHRAH: nah why

WEEN: we have a situation

WEEN: downtown

KAHRAH: u should see a doctor about it winn

WEEN: not that downtown

KAHRAH: OH

HANK: did not need that image in my head

HANK: anyway

HANK: there’s a brawl breaking out on the street

HANK: all of them alien

KAHRAH: oh my

KAHRAH: why does this keep happening???

WEEN: alien on alien

WEEN: it’s a shame

WEEN: why cant weeeee be friends why cant weeee be friendssss

KAHRAH: winn ur a great singer

KAHRAH: but pls stick to the classics

KAHRAH: also

KAHRAH:

HANK: supergirl now is not the time for memes

KAHRAH: right yes it’s the time for…

WEEN: up up and away

KAHRAH: yes that

KAHRAH: omw

**KAHRAH left the chat**

**LUCE joined the chat**

LUCE: hey squad

WEEN: we’re a squad??

LUCE: hell yeah

HANK: you’re not a squad

LUCE: hank didn’t u hear

LUCE: didn’t get the memo??

LUCE: on this new term?

HANK: apparently not

LUCE: squads r tight knit groups of friends

WEEN: yes cool friends

WEEN: we do cool stuff

HANK: can i

HANK: no this is stupid

LUCE: go on hank

LUCE: speak ur lil martian mind

WEEN: we’re all ears

HANK: can I be part of this ‘squad’

LUCE: thought you’d never ask hank

WEEN: what part shall hank play in the squad

WEEN: also we don’t have a name yet

WEEN: I put forth Supersquad

LUCE: winn that’s so basic

LUCE: hank can be the dad of the group

LUCE: space dad

HANK: that sounds familiar

HANK: I am not opposed to being space dad

LUCE: it is settled

**HANK changed name to SPACEDAD**

SPACEDAD: this is my initiation

SPACEDAD: I will wear this title proudly

SPACEDAD: will alex approve? Is she in the squad?

LUCE: yes she is

LUCE: the name suits u well

LUCE: its so cute

SPACEDAD: I’m not cute

SPACEDAD: I can read your thoughts

SPACEDAD: oh the things I could scar kara with

LUCE: don’t u dare

WEEN: wow a low blow from the big guy

WEEN: that’s amazing

WEEN: im def not regretting this move

LUCE: same

LUCE: this is juicy

WEEN: wonder what alex will think

**ALEX joined the chat**

ALEX: kara’s out?

SPACEDAD: I just sent her

ALEX: hey woah now hank

ALEX: did you change your name or someone else?

SPACEDAD: I changed of my own free will

LUCE: yeah he’s in the squad now

LUCE: sorry not sorry

ALEX: wow okay so maybe we

ALEX: keep it PG13 now?

LUCE: ohhhhhh

LUCE: true

WEEN: yes pls

WEEN: I don’t have a SO to brag/be disgusting about

LUCE: wow rude

WEEN: sorry

WEEN: (not sorry)


	39. Reveals and Birthday Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is Chaos (which suits my name (im sorry (not sorry)))

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 14:02 UTC--**

**CAT joined the chat**

**CAT added JAMES OLSEN, LUCE, KAHRAH, ALEX, SPACEDAD, GENERAL, ALURA to the chat**

CAT: hello

KAHRAH: woah

ALEX: hi?

GENERAL: hello

ALURA: what is happening?

LUCE: PARTY

JAMES OLSEN: hi it’s been a while

SPACEDAD: what’d going on

KAHRAH: cat: technologically literate

KAHRAH: chat: empty

KAHRAH: people: added

KAHRAH: I am forcibly dragged into a conversation

ALEX: what on earth does that mean

KAHRAH: means im funny and ur not

CAT: kara behave

KAHRAH: sorry

CAT: we are gathered here today

KAHRAH: if this is ur idea of a wedding we needa talk

CAT: KARA

KAHRAH: got it, shutting up

CAT: gathered to get input on a birthday party

LUCE: PARTY!!

ALEX: whose birthday is it

GENERAL: I don’t have a birthday

GENERAL: on earth, I mean

ALURA: that means I don’t either

ALURA: did we celebrate birthdays?

GENERAL: yes, alura, we did

KAHRAH: CARTER!!!

ALEX: where?

ALEX: he’s not in the chat?

ALEX: OH

KAHRAH: it’s carter’s birthday

ALEX: got that

JAMES OLSEN: I would help

JAMES OLSEN: I don’t know half the people in this conversation

KAHRAH: bc ur never around

KAHRAH: mr Olsen

LUCE: yeah james whats ur problem

KAHRAH: is he still upset over sad Obama

ALEX: Obama is certainly sad right now

CAT: you people are so difficult to contain

KAHRAH: we’re all the life of the party so yes

KAHRAH: correct

JAMES OLSEN: sorry I’ve been… busy

ALEX: that sounds shady

GENERAL: is that codeword for illegal activity

ALURA: are you going to court?

JAMES OLSEN: no nothing like that

**LUCE changed JAMES OLSEN’s name to GUARDIAN**

LUCE: does that clear things up a bit??

KAHRAH: holy shit

GUARDIAN: lucy

CAT: CAN WE PLAN A BIRTHDAY AND NOT DISTRACT ME WITH A SCOOP

GUARDIAN: you tell anyone and I’ll

KAHRAH: u cant touch her

GUARDIAN: we seem to be at a stalemate

CAT: I’m not a monster I won’t tell

CAT: as long as you’re not stupid out there

CAT: I can end your shenanigans

GUARDIANS: I can live with that

ALURA: carter?

KAHRAH: yes carter

GENERAL: the little man?

KAHRAH: he’s a teenager astra

GENERAL: the little teenager?

KAHRAH: damn it

SPACEDAD: ok so what I have so far is that james is guardian and carter needs a birthday party

CAT: can we talk about the party

KAHRAH: u could’ve asked me to organise something

KAHRAH: I always organise stuff for u

CAT: yes but since then

CAT: I’ve met all these people in your life

CAT: and they’ve become

CAT: important

LUCE: HUMAN EMOTIONS FROM CAT

ALEX: I’M SOAKING THIS IN I’M IMPORTANT

GENERAL: WHY ARE WE YELLING

ALURA: QUIET DOWN PLEASE

GUARDIAN: what the hell is going on

KAHRAH: omg

KAHRAH: calm down

LUCE: KARA SHOOSH UR USED TO THIS WE’RE NOT

KAHRAH: no

**KAHRAH kicked LUCE from the chat**

ALEX: oh my god

GUARDIAN: she’ll be pissed

CAT: bring lucy back we need her

**LUCE joined the chat**

LUCE: im pissed

GUARDIAN: told you

KAHRAH: im sorry that u needed a swift kick to the head

LUCE: could’ve kicked my butt instead

LUCE: more padding there

SPACEDAD: I am terrible at keeping the peace

SPACEDAD: all of you children need to shut up and sit down

KAHRAH: we’re all sitting down already

SPACEDAD: everyone listen to cat

SPACEDAD: or I’ll temporarily ban you

CAT: thank you

CAT: is that you hank

SPACEDAD: yes

CAT: thank you hank

SPACEDAD: you’re very welcome

LUCE: *cough* kissass *cough*

**SPACEDAD temporarily banned LUCE from the chat**

SPACEDAD: I wasn’t lying

CAT: okay carter’s birthday is in a week

CAT: and I was hoping to collect some ideas on what to do

CAT: can we go around the group? Perhaps? Keep some order?

CAT: I pass the virtual conch to kara

KAHRAH: ok I propose a surprise party

KAHRAH: with lots of helium balloons

CAT: ok pause, sounds like something you want, so think about carter

KAHRAH: ok sorry I propose there be video games

CAT: better

CAT: conch to alex

ALEX: I propose there be food

CAT: small and guaranteed but noted, virtual conch to james

GUARDIAN: no evil people

CAT: james

GUARDIAN: ok how about a photobooth

GUARDIAN: those are fun

CAT: good, conch to astra

GENERAL: what is a conch

CAT: it’s a type of shell that you find on the beach

GENERAL: I will ask the google about it later

GENERAL: I propose that I can bring mittens

CAT: you want to bring your cat to carter’s birthday party

GENERAL: yes

GENERAL: she does tricks

CAT: what kind of tricks, and don’t say ‘makes marks on furniture’ that isn’t a trick, that’s property damage

GENERAL: she rolls over

GENERAL: and sits

GENERAL: and licks things

CAT: ok the licking part can’t happen so moving on

CAT: conch to hank

SPACEDAD: could there be pizza

CAT: yes

CAT: guaranteed

CAT: conch to alura

ALURA: I don’t know what to add

CAT: what do you normally do at a birthday party

ALURA: celebrate the birth

CAT: for fun

ALURA: share stories

CAT: okay, conch is back to me

**WEEN joined the chat**

WEEN: hey there’s a lot of ppl in here what I miss

CAT: conch to winn

WEEN: huh??? What?? why r u giving me a seashell

CAT: virtual conch

WEEN: what does that mean

KAHRAH: u have the right to speak

KAHRAH: about what we should do for carter’s birthday

WEEN: oh

WEEN: excursion to the aquarium cat can rent a bus

CAT: that is the worst idea yet

WEEN: cmon kids love fish

KAHRAH: winn

WEEN: little mermaid??

KAHRAH: I think we got enough ideas down

KAHRAH: I’ll start pulling it together

CAT: conch is out of play now

CAT: feel free to resume disorder and chaos

**CAT left the chat**

WEEN: im still invited right??

WEEN: despite having the worst idea?

WEEN: guys?

WEEN: r u there??

WEEN: im gonna outdo u all on the bday present

KAHRAH: the hell u will


	40. Cats and Chocolate Milk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is Inspired ;)

**\--SECURE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL ESTABLISHED – 18:21 UTC--**

**KAHRAH, WEEN, ALEX joined the chat**

**KAHRAH changed name to KARA**

KARA: back to some normalcy for a hot second

WEEN: sup

ALEX: guess what I woke up to

KARA: astra

KARA: if its astra I don’t wanna know

ALEX: the longest cat scratch down my arm

KARA: ohh noooo mittens why

WEEN: mittens needs to sit in time out

ALEX: mittens needs to go back to a shelter

KARA: nooo

KARA: would make astra sad

KARA:

ALEX: I’m showing that to astra

KARA: no don’t

WEEN: do it I dare u omg

WEEN: she looks like a gremlin

ALEX: I’m telling astra you said that

WEEN: no don’t

KARA: alex pls have mercy

ALEX: what will you do for me

KARA: let u in on family secrets

KARA: that include astra

ALEX: hmm tempting

WEEN: can I be in on the secrets too??

KARA: fine

KARA: as long as u don’t spill the beans

WEEN: promise

ALEX: okay fine tell me secrets

ALEX: I have access to kryptonite if you don’t

KARA: alex how many times

ALEX: hey

KARA: ok I’ll tell

KARA: when I was rly little

KARA: I saw astra drinking this one think a lot

KARA: learned later what it was

KARA: the closest to it would probably be choc milk

ALEX: chocolate milk

ALEX: are you being serious right now

KARA: dead serious

WEEN: oh my god

ALEX: chocolate

ALEX: milk

KARA: yup

WEEN: I love chocolate milk

ALEX: of course you do winn, you’re a man-child

WEEN: hey that’s not nice

KARA: yeah alex I just told u a secret

KARA: and now ur flaming poor winn

ALEX: okay sorry

ALEX: I will… take that info

KARA: good

KARA: use it wisely

KARA: I will ask mittens about what u do with it

ALEX: mittens cant talk

WEEN: kara can Kryptonians talk to cats

ALEX: that would explain a few things actually…

KARA: no we have a non-verbal rapport

KARA: I trust her with watching u

KARA:

WEEN: omnipresent mittens observes all of time and space

ALEX: that’s taking it too far

ALEX: don’t push me

ALEX: or I really will take mittens back to the shelter

KARA: go home alex

KARA: relax

**GENERAL, ALURA joined the chat**

GENERAL: I am about to head home is alex here

ALEX: here astra

GENERAL: hello

GENERAL: is mittens home?

ALEX: should be

ALEX: I’m heading home too

ALURA: I miss mittens

GENERAL: you could get your own mittens

KARA: omg

ALEX: no

ALEX: NO

KARA: alex whether alura has a cat doesn’t even affect u wtf is wrong??

WEEN: this is highly amusing

ALEX: shut up winn

KARA: shhh winn

ALEX: okay I’m home

GENERAL: wait is that

ALEX: what

GENERAL: alex

KARA: whats happening

ALURA: I want a mittens

WEEN: I can help u alura

KARA: winn hands off

KARA: whats going on

GENERAL: what is this

GENERAL: first the nice juice and now this?

ALEX: astra is trying this drink I found

ALEX: at the convenience store

KARA: oooo

ALURA: can I try too?

GENERAL: no this is mine

ALEX: oh my god

ALEX: she finished the glass now she’s drinking out of the bottle

KARA: :’’)))

WEEN: omg

GENERAL: chocolate milk

GENERAL: I like this

GENERAL: the milk of chocolate

KARA: im wheezing

WEEN: wish I was there to see this

WEEN: chug! chug! chug! chug!

ALEX: she finished the entire bottle

GENERAL: can we have some more please

ALEX: we? You finished it all by yourself

GENERAL: can I have some more please

ALEX: fine I’ll go get some more

KARA: y are u guys still talking on here

ALEX: I’m afraid if I open my mouth bad things will happen

KARA: tru

ALEX: ugh mittens found me

ALEX: compulsory leg rub begins

ALEX: I’m gonna have to use the lint roller on my pants again

KARA: the cost of feline love

ALEX: you have your own feline love, the kind that doesn’t shed all over you

ALEX: get outta here

KARA: my cat loves me and I love my cat

ALURA: that is so nice

ALURA: I love lucy

KARA: hey that’s a tv show

ALURA: is it? I must watch

GENERAL: MILK

KARA: rao astra

KARA: u rly love that choc milk

GENERAL: I read that kittens drink milk

GENERAL: would mittens like some chocolate milk?

KARA: that is a very bad idea

KARA: do not do that

GENERAL: okay

GENERAL: more for me

ALEX: sigh

ALURA: I have news

ALEX: oh what now

KARA: what’s news mom

ALURA: I have acquired a cat

ALEX: COME ON

KARA: AHHHHH!!!! CUTE!!!

**LUCE joined the chat**

LUCE: alura has a cat

LUCE: how did I not see this coming she adores mittens

ALURA: isn’t he beautiful

ALURA: I call him nibbles

LUCE: why nibbles

LUCE: that’s so tacky

ALURA: he nibbles me

LUCE: wow im the only one who’s allowed to do that

LUCE: alex come take nibbles to the shelter

ALURA: no nibbles is staying

ALURA: nibbles will do the vibrations

ALURA: nibbles is my son, isn’t that what people call their cats on the internet?

LUCE: oh my God


End file.
